We have hit the realms of stupdity!!!

As all of you know, since the fire, things have been beyond trying in our household.  One of the things that most people don't realize, is that once the house building has begun and the re purchasing of items has started, you don't leave the pain behind.  And I hate that when I dont put the ' in dont, it underlines it in red!  Learn already would you!

Anyway...the pain is sill there, the nightmares, the tears, and the anger.  It does not go away.  The piles of paperwork are never ending.  There is no time for fun and joy.  It used to be going out and buying something new for the house, finding a treasure that would fit perfect in that corner, was exciting..Now its just more paperwork or better  yet, worrying about having to pay someone else to move it or to store it until you move and then to move it, or since I have no idea what my house is going to look like, will it fit in?  Yaddah yaddah yaddah.  (screw you little red squiggle line, I dont care if its spelled right)

Now, I have enough stress in my life, cause it just does not go away and there are not enough hours in the day to deal with it all.  Shit..I still cant figure out what size fridge I owned in order to get the correct amount of money to replace it.  The insurance company low balled me on that one!

But now I have my stupid mortgage company to deal with.  We took out a construction loan in order to put the addition on.  Mortgage companies do this all the time due to large loss.  It happens every day.  So, we want to give them out money, they have approved it.  Technically...however, they are refusing to pay our contractor any money for the addition until the fire restoration work has been completed. 

Go ahead, think about this one for a minute or two........

Yes, that's right.  The entire house must be completed without the first floor roof.  Electric, plumbing, drywall, floors, paint, new kitchen, appliances...but no roof.  Or are we supposed to put the roof on and then tear it off to add the addition?  Or are we supposed to finish the entire house without a roof and have it rain/snow inside my new house?  And then what, make another claim on my house cause it rained/snowed in my house? Are we supposed to put the plumbing in and electric and then tear it apart again where the new addition is supposed to go? 

Want to hear something funnier...We have been told by WELLS FARGO, that work done on the addition before the fire work is completed, will be deducted from the amount of the loan.  Ummm....WHERE THE FUCK DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE!

To recap..WELLS FARGO has approved our loan.  But wont pay our contractor any money until the fire restoration is completed.  So, brand new house with no roof, damaged by weather.  And, if my contractor works on the addition, they will deduct the amount of work from the loan.

I dont understand this.  We have an excellent credit rating.   Very little debt.  We suffered a house fire and suffer daily for it.  We want to GIVE THIS STUPID COMPANY OUR MONEY, and they want to make us jump through hoops in order for us to give them our money. 

I simply want to drive to the WELLS FARGO offices, go down to the underwriters(I always picture them sitting in a dark basement crunching number and eating stale snickers) and BITCH SLAP THEM. 

Maybe I'll draw them a picture...literally.  A picture of my house, newly finished, drywall, paint, new kitchen cabinets, new appliances and then a little rain cloud over the spot where my addition should be, but isn't because they wont let us build it until the restoration is complete. 

Then, as I am holding them by the short hairs, very tightly, while growling in their pale stupid little faces, explain that no inspector in the world will approve a house with no fucking roof!!

I see an chicken and egg here! 

Now, my contractor has emailed me and informed me that they are going to stop working.  I get his email while halfway through my 3.5 hours of paperwork today.  While listening to children argue behind me about who jumped in front of who while playing the kinect, yelling at the dogs for wandering around, messing it up, the phone ringing, kids begging, hubby calling....yaddah yaddah yaddah..

GUESS WHERE MY STRESS LEVEL IS NOW!  and people wonder why I dont sleep!

If you see me on the news, with my hands cuffed in front of me and a jacket over my head being led away from the WELLS FARGO office...oh shit...I cant even say that because of all the stupid people in the world.  I WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING STUPID LIKE THAT.   I just want to go slap around some underwriters! and draw them a very pretty picture of my new house with snow on the appliances...

To all my new friends

Its always exciting getting a new friend request.  Its even cooler seeing that people you know, know people you know and you didn't know it!    You totally know what I'm talking about!

I have added a lot of new friends lately, people that know me but might not actually know me.  So...I figured I would throw this out there as a ???  Not sure

But, here is my disclaimer....as I've gotten in trouble before because of FB! and no, not just from my mom.  I get in trouble with her without FB all the time.

So...back to my disclaimer, first my FB disclaimer

• I tend to post funny stories about my kids...If I post something that could be potentially embarrassing  to one of my kids, and I do that often, please do not read it to your children.  I enjoy sharing funny stories but would never intentionally want it to harm one of my children.  I mean this is common sense people.  If I post because C1 reports that he doesn't have any trouble with the ladies and he knows everything about them, so no worries...and you read this to your son or daughter....Need I say more.  Potentially embarrassing situation for him I wont allow that.  I have unfriended someone for this before.  We enjoy reading stories about our friends children because it makes us realize that our kids are not the only nuts out there...that they are all like that...but we dont want to hurt their feelings!  So, read it, enjoy it but dont repeat it please.
• I tend to post that I am getting ready to strangle, bury in the back yard, tie to a tree, or sell my children.  Please do not take that literally.  I love my children more than my own life, and as you know, because you feel the same way a lot of days, we want to strangle, buy, tie up or sell at times.  I am just dumb enough to post it!
• I often, quite often, threaten my husband on FB.  Please do not repeat this to him.  He knows that I want to slap him upside the head...I tell him often, but, he would be quite upset if he knew I was telling a lot of people that I wanted to slap him.  See first bullet point...I am actually quite surprised at how many of my friends never post about wanting to slap their husbands upside the head.  Maybe they are FB friends with their hubbies?  I am not and he knows it.  We are good like that.
• I rarely swear on FB. But sometimes it just fits.  Remember kidney stone post!?!  If you are offended by bad language...this is just a heads up.  I dont do it very often because I often leave my fb open on my computer, except when KLP comes over, and I dont want my kids reading it.  And I would imagine that same things happens in your house.  I dont post it so my kids or your kids dont read it.

Now...I also post a link to my blog on fb.  Here is my blog disclaimer...its bigger...

• I swear a lot on my blog(sorry mom)  Basically, everything I avoid on FB, being slightly crude, or rude or language, I do on my blog(sorry mom)
• I apologize to my mom a lot on in blog
• I NEVER use names in my blog.  If I am referring to someone I use initials.  My children I use C1, C2, and C3.  Hubby is just Hubby.  
• I bitch about people in my blog.  I DONT USE NAMES.  My blog is my personal outlet.  I complain about situations, and yes even people.  I never even use initials when I complain about a person, or situation.  Actually, I never complain about someone personally.  Example, I complained about C3's situation in Baseball.  I was not picking on his coaches personally...just a coaching decision.  I complained about a Football issue.  I did not personally attack the coach, I attacked a coaching decision.  There is a difference.  I would never attack someones character or personality.  If they are in a position of coaching or leading, and I am not happy with a decision, I am likely to complain about it.  Again, I am not personally attacking someone, I am complaining about a decision.  If you dont like it, Tough!  This is my personal blog and if I want to complain about something I will.  And I have every right to complain.  I do a ton of volunteering, or am often voluntold by KLP.  (wait till she sees what I voluntold her for recently)  I can bitch if I want to bitch.  I ask that if you know the person, or the situation, please use common sense about repeating my complaint.  I never complain to hurt someone, only to vent my frustrations.  If you choose to repeat it especially if you happen to know that person....shame on you.  
• I tell funny stories about my kids, and yes, they could potentially be embarrassing...please see Bullet 1.  
• I bitch about hubby, please see bullet 3.

Ok, I think that is it...I love having people read my blogs, respond to my fb posts. I have been burned before, by someone reading a kid post to their kid and someone who knew who I was talking about in a blog post and they told them.  So this is my disclaimer to cover my ass. 

Read it, enjoy it, but dont share it to hurt me or myself.  That is not fair.  If you dont like it, dont read it or unfriend me.  I will not be offended. Nothing offends me!

Holy shit!   A blog post that is not about the house fire!!!  WOOHOO!!!  And...its not bitching about someone or something!  I think I am making great progress...Gold Star anyone?  How bout a Pepsi?  Lunch?  Anyone? Anyone?

Get over it...move on.....

That is a phrase that people keep saying to me.  Its over, there is nothing I can do about the past, we all survived, we are doing ok.  I am getting a brand new house...bigger than before...new stuff, new furniture...I need to just move on......

It is very easy to say...and I do understand that my friends are worried about me.  That I am not my good ole self.  The person who is always upbeat, easygoing, carefree...blah blah blah...

I will get over it eventually, or maybe not.  I do miss my old self...I do want that person back, but right now every time that person gets some time to forget about shit, to move forward, something comes along as a reminder that I am still in the shit.

Today...went to make egg salad. Haven't had it in forever.  No egg slicer.  Now for most of you know big deal...just smush it with a fork. EWWWW.  the texture is then disgusting!!!  I know, stupid right..its egg salad.  But damnit...I was looking forward to it and then I couldn't eat it.

Other day, made mashed potatos and meat loaf.  Had to go to my neighbors to borrow a hand mixer and meat thermometer.    Last night, went to make spaghetti bake...didn't have a dish big enough to put it in. 

Tonight after the game, was chilled to the bone.  downloaded a movie, took a hot shower, (ssshhhh, dont tell but ate a piece of crazy bread in the shower!)  and went to put my flannel sheets on my bed so I could climb in and get all cozy and warm.  My sheets smell like house fire.  And they were cleaned..I paid to have them cleaned and they smell like shit!

Now, I have to email the company who cleaned them, email my adjuster, set the aside, go out and buy new ones, scan the receipt, enter this information onto a new spread sheet, itemize it and then email it in to my adjuster.

Every fucking time I go to do anything, I either dont have it, cant find it, or its been returned to me but its crap!

Today we got to waste our time.  We were sent by our builder to a kitchen place in Franklin Park.  Now, I have never priced out an entire kitchen. I know we have been given 3200 and change for our old cabinets.  I now know that that is enough money to buy a couple of milk crates and some nails to put them up on our walls.  If we're really lucky, maybe we can find an old washtub and a pump to use as a sink!  Why the fuck did our builder send us to a custom cabinet maker when he knows full well what the budget is for the cabinets.  I feel like a fool. Here, hubby and I are picking out, not top of the line but not crap either, and now I realize this salesman who could have given a crap if we were there  or not, was probably laughing at us.  I am embarrassed and pissed off at the same time.  We stopped at HD later, and priced cabinets.  9 grand. Again, not top of the line.  So for grins and giggles, we asked for a pricing of the cheapest they had....5 grand.  WTF!  THE FIRE WAS NOT OUR FAULT...AT LEAST LET US REPLACE WHAT WE LOST WITH DECENT SHIT!

Want a bigger laugh...they are giving us 400 bucks to replace our counter tops.  So, that's like plywood and contact paper.  Even Formica is more expensive than that. 


Check this out..the company that we were told to hire to clean out and inventory our house, has SCREWED IT UP BIG TIME!. 

First, we find out that they should not have removed a damn thing from the house until it was all photographed and inventoried.  oops.

So, I spend a month, either in my smelly house helping sort and pack up and then in the warehouse completing the inventory.  I get the list of un from them and begin pricing.  Turn it in to the insurance company but notice some problems.  I understand that some things get missed, but there was a lot of screwing shit on this  list.  why would some books be un but others not when they were on the same shelf?  Why would a pair of clippers be un but in the basket you could see three.  why were none of my husbands toolsboxes opened up and dumped for an inventory?  why were half of my mixing bowls un while the other half weren't when they were on the same shelf?  I could go on and one....

So now, despite some of my friends wishes, I am going through my inventory at the warehouse again.  I opened burned toolboxes and took pictures of thousands of dollars worth of tools that they were just going to throw in the dumpster.  I am going through boxes of items they have cleaned to be returned to me, only to find items that are damaged by smoke, and some items that reek of smoke.   items that they told me were not safe to keep, have been cleaned and put into boxes to be returned to me.  Umm...didn't you tell me that these items were not safe?  I have items on the un list that has already been sent to the insurance company, also on the cleaned list.  How am I supposed to sort that out?  My silverware drawer and junk drawers...no inventory...and they threw them out.  Without permission. 

So...I think that I am entitled to be pissed off...to have trouble letting go, not being able to get over it and hardly moving on.  I have a cluster fuck of paperwork that I have no idea how to sort through.  I am being give pennies to replace my kitchen, and I'm still cold and now I dont have my flannel sheets to snuggle down into tonight.

So guess what, I am pissed off and I dont know when I am going to be able to get over it.  My fireplace might not be up to code and we might have to get rid of it.  I dont know where I'm going to put my washer and dryer since the entire laundry room is not code and there is no room for everything...every day its something new....and all I wanted today, was an egg salad sandwich, a decent kitchen, and warm sheets.

I wonder what crap tomorrow will bring?

and yes mom, I cussed a lot and I'm sorry (kinda)

Sticks and Stones......

I know what you are thinking...really...haven't we been through enough already??

Tell me about it.  A couple of weeks ago, LJ and I and the kids were at, yes, Walmart, getting replacement prices on items.  You can only spend so much time in front of the damn computer looking things up at amazon before you start to lose your mind.

So we were out together looking at prices, having fun, when i got this sudden and rather painful twinge in my side.  I wasn't sure what it was, but It sure wasn't fun.  I tried to just ignore it, but it was to uncomfortable.  It was more like pressure than actual pain.  I announced that my brain was full and we cut the night short.  I was planning on going to DQ afterwards...but oh well.  Came home, took some advil and went to bed.

This past Sunday, Hubby took kids to church and Sunday school.  Came home with oldest, as he's to old for Sunday school anymore.  I was in the garage(shutup) when suddenly the pain hit like a...hmmm...the best way to describe it is if I could imagine an ice pick jabbed through my side from the front to the back.  Granted, I have no idea what it feels like to have an ice pick jammed through my side but if I could imagine it, that was it.  It took a few minutes before I could call to hubby.  I couldn't even breath.   He helps me back into the house where I proceed to catch my breath and pace.  The pain starts to subside, but I realize that its not going to go away.  I tel hubby to go get kids from Sunday school and call C1 upstairs to stay with me in case I pass out.  That is how bad it was. 
I explained to C1 that it was only a kidney stone and that it looked scarier than it was.  It just hurt a lot but we would go get it taken care of.  Then we proceeded to discuss the differences between browsers and search engines.  I know, odd right.  but it helped with the pain.  till it would hit again massively and then I was doubled over again trying to breath.  Hubby gets home and off we go to the ER. 

Now this had happened once before about 8 years ago.  It was painful.  I used to say that I knew what a 10 on the pain scale meant.  This was worse.  We get to the counter and get checked in.  They tell me to go sit down and they will call me.  Umm....I can hardly move...well, I did move, down the counter about 5 steps and then leaned on the counter trying to breath.  Very shortly someone calls my name.  I dont move.  I honestly could not figure out how to move my feet.  It hurt so much I didn't think I could walk.  The person who called my name just stood there and waited.  Did not come over and offer to help me at all.  Finally, I was able to move.  I ambled over and she offered me a seat.  Took me a minute to figure out if I could actually sit down...I could.  The pain was unbearable.  At least I thought it was...it got worse later.  She stars IV line on me and all I could think of is please just let me curl up on the floor....someone comes with a wheel chair to get me and away we go.  She, who ever she was, I never even saw her face was very kind.  Went very slowly so not to bump me to much.  Wheeled me into a dark room and helped me up onto the bed.  touched my arm and said not to worry, they were all there to help me and if I needed anything to ask for her, but I dont remember her name.

Nurse comes in, I get in stupid gown...wow that hurt then curled up in bed clutching my husbands arm so tight that he lost circulation.  all the while moaning and rocking, wishing it would all just go away.  The nurse very very nice.  It just took forever for pain meds.  I did, however, have to explain the red head rule to her.

***Red head rule.  they have finally published studies on this.  We bleed more, it takes more pain meds to knock the pain out, we can tolerate more pain than most people, meds work differently on us, etc etc.  She did not know this rule. by the end of my stay with her, she was a believer.

Now some admin dude comes in asking for our insurance cards.  We had just gotten new ones in the mail and had not put them in our wallets yet.  Hubby tells him this, I tell him this.  He goes away only to come back again asking.  I tell him again...he goes away.  Doc still hasn't been in.  No drugs on board yet.  Bastard!  Comes back a third time, this time with financial aid paperwork.  I, very politely tell the dude to get out!.  Honest, I was polite!  Smartly he leaves and does not come back. 

Finally get one dose of drugs in me.  Which of course makes me sick, so they give me meds to compensate.  First dose does nothing.  Gives me another dose.  Now by this time, I actually thought something inside of me had ruptured.  The pain was so intense, so massive, I didn't think any human being could stand it.  Hubby calls KF (LOVE YOU) who stops at my house and gets insurance cards and brings them in.  Hubby goes home for something, I dont know what, and they swap places.  Hubby slams insurance cards down on counter infront of dumb ass on his way out.  I'm not sure what was said, nor do I want to know.  Now, KF is at my bedside.  Now third dose of pain meds are on board.  Now, I am throwing up every 15 minutes.  and still moaning in pain.  Nurse says all they can do now is put me completely out.  Somewhere during this I went for the cat scan.  they were wonderful there!  Helped me move my drugged out body, a gentle touch on my arm.  very nice. 

So KF is at my bedside, I'm passing out but coming to every 15 minutes to sit up , rock and throw up.  I was rocking to keep myself from passing out and falling.  Nurse says to KF, wow, you must be a really good friend.  KF says, nah, I just met her, I had nothing better to do!  YOU ROCK. 

I'm admitted.  I first get into my room and its not private and the hillbillies from hickwater usa are next to me.  It was scary!!  Thank god they leave.  I'm sure hubby came back but by now, they pharmacist had mixed up special concoction to stop me from throwing up.  It worked! 

The nurse on duty that night sure did earn her keep!  The pain would go from 0 to 110 in a nano second.  Next thing I knew, I would be rocking, moaning, crying and pushing the button.  Again, three doses of drugs, more throwing up blah blah blah..This happened all night long! 

Next day, I had no idea it was Monday, KLP shows up.  I was in and out of it.  She looks and me and says, God, you look horrible...can I take your picture!  ROFLMAO!  Nurse comes in with the super drug to stop the throwing up.  Thank God.  yes, I was rolfing in front of my two best friends!  and Alcohol was not involved!  Doh!  I love the fact that KLP was txting my hubby a minute by minute description.  She's up, She's puking, She's out...she's fading.  See Hubby had 2 job interviews downtown on Monday.  He HAD to go! 

Later that day, G's show up and hubby.  I wonder where the kids were???  and they do surgery to push the giant pea sized stone back up and put a stint in.  I wont go into details.  ICK!

I'm released on Tuesday.  Wednesday I go and have a sonic thingy where they put me under and blast the shit out of my back with some sonic waves to beak up the not one, but two stones, in hopes that they will just go away on their own.

Today is the first day that I am not in horrible pain.  My head is clearing from the drugs, but still uncomfortable.  I go back Monday to see if the stones are still there, or if I need to be beat up by this machine again.

Is it over yet?  Can we move on yet?  I am really really tired of all of this.  Can we just move on now...have nothing else thrown at us.  Oh wait..one more thing

My son, C3 was sat out by his coach for half of his game today because he had his second unexcused missed practice of the season on Monday.  I explained that i was UNCONSCIOUS on Monday.  How as I supposed to call him to tell him that he was not going to be at practice on Monday when I was UNCONSCIOUS.   He apparently has no heart or lives in a bubble where nothing bad has ever happened to him or his family.  Thank you coach, for punishing my son because I was UNCONSCIOUS and he's to young to drive. Hell, I didn't even know it was Monday until it was Tuesday! And, I did email him on Tuesday, he never replied to me. 

I know this will probably come back to bite me in the ass, but, I am still really angry about this.  Can you tell?

WORLD, JUST BACK THE FUCK OFF OF US.  WE HAVE HAD ENOUGH...STOP POKING US AND LAUGHING..I AM READY TO START FIGHTING BACK!  I AM MAD AS HELL AND I WILL LET YOU KNOW IT!!!.  Well, probably not, I am just a big wuss after all.  I'll probably just blog about you and not use any names :)

Part 8 The many adjusters....

Adjusters, oh my...where do I even start....

SF, like a good neighbor...SF is there...or not. 

I would like to think, or I did that if I suffered a large loss, a fire, especially, that my agent, who is supposed to give a damn about us, would drive his sorry ass out to my house in the middle of the night.  I dont know why I think he should.  But hell, he wants us to protect our house, our family, our lives.  Course I guess he only gives a damn about our checks coming on time. 

Now has he NEVER CALLED, not even to this day, but he has NEVER CALLED us.  Did I mention that to this day, he has NEVER CALLED us.  Bastard!  I wont tell my dad his name cause he wants to go to his office, sign up for a ton of policies, and then ask if his house burns down, will the agent come out to his house...and when says of course, he wants to tear the papers up in front of his face, and say, you son of a bitch, you sure didn't for my daughter.  I think its kinda brilliant, but I wont tell my dad his name :)

Oh wait, his office did call us that day. Left a vmail for my hubby telling him that they had a check for him, an advance, and that we could come and pick it up.  WHAT?  I am supposed to drive to Woodstock, in my walmart clothes and my borrowed socks, smelly and sooty to pick up a check.  I should have...course then someone would have had to bail me out!  They didn't even have the decency to offer to bring me a check.  bastards.

So, day of fire...SF sends out J.  Now, insurance adjusters start out being able to approve small amounts of loss, and they have to work their way up.  They send us J, who was approved up to 50K.  Dude looked like a deer in the headlights.  He was about 12 years old and way out of his league!  I actually felt bad for him, until he started arguing with my husband.  bastard.  Dude asks me if $2500 was enough for the first check...um....I dont know, ITS MY FIRST FIRE.    Later, hubby and I are at no, not walmart, but at Home Depot buying masks and gloves and such.  Hubby beats me there and I see him stomping around the parking lot waving his arms up and down, obviously yelling at someone.  Good thing it was early!

Hubby had told J that deep freeze was in danger of becoming a public health hazard and it had to be removed.  J says ok and that they would give us $300 for the contents of the deep freeze.  Um NO!  Hubby explained to J that the freezer was FULL of meat and it cost a heck of a lot more than that.  J says, no.  Hubby says you ever buy  a quarter cow.  Its expensive.  J proceeds to argue that there could not be that much money in there or some crap like that.  Hubby offered to have J come over and put on protective gear and help hubby inventory it.  J says, I'm not going to do that.  etc etc...

Lets just say that was the first and last day that J worked on our case.  They we were assigned an Adjuster who was on vacation.  Of course she was.  So we were given a temporary adjuster.  S.  She agreed that meat is expensive and would give us $1500 for the contents of our freezer.  THANK YOU!  But that is all she did.  Hell, she was just on our case temporarily  and she didn't want to have to work and then have to update J2. 

Please keep in mind that our agent HAS NEVER CALLED US.  We have no guidance here, no one to tell us what to do or how to do it. 

***side note important for story...Now SF tells me that I have to interview contractors.  Um. I ask them for names since I don't know any companies.  They give me three.  First guy comes and and says they will seal the walls and paint.  Ok.  Please keep in mind, we have not seen if there is any damage behind the walls as they are still there.  I ask him, well, If I hang a new picture, and put a new hole in the wall, and there was damage in that wall, wont that smell come out?  He didn't answer me.

Second guys come out,  LOVE THEM SO FAR!  Owner of company E and S his minion come out.  2 minutes after S walks in the house, he informs me that this is not a major loss, its a large loss.  I always thought major was bigger than large, but I guess I was wrong.  He walks outside and calls my temporary adjuster, S and has me bumped up to large loss with a new adjuster. 

Third guy comes out and suggest that maybe he should talk to my husband.  His body is buried in my garden.  ssshhhhhh!  Dont tell anyone!

Now, contractor I dont even know has us bumped up to a higher loss and has us assigned a new adjuster.  Please note, MY AGENT HAS NEVER CALLED US AND NO OTHER ADJUSTER HAS COME OUT TO THE HOUSE YET.  We are still flying blind here.

I am thrilled, I have a real adjuster!  Finally, one that is not on vacation, that an handle our claim!

D comes out to my house, my personal property adjuster. M is my structure adjuster, his knuckles drag on the ground when he walks.

 She is wearing a nice clean white shirt, pressed blue jeans and high heal sandals.  We are walking around the garage and she actually says, oh lets not go there, its dirty.  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! (I am so NOT apologizing for swearing here mom)  I AM WEARING BORROWED SOCKS! (thank you JV)  I knew right then and there that this relationship was not going to work out. 

Later, 

I informed her that I needed a vacuum that actually worked and my kitchen aid. 
She told me that she had never had anyone want to replace so many items in the beginning. I'm thinking, really?  No one you have ever worked with had kids who lost EVERYTHING and where going nuts.  We needed a sense of normalcy and that is all we want.  Why in gods name do I have to explain myself to this moron. 

Guess what happens then...yup, she goes on VACATION.  Now I have another temp.  She says she will order my stuff.  I wait and I wait, and I wait.  Moron D comes back from vacation...I wait, I wait.  I'm not getting ticked off.  I am being patient.  3 weeks pass...I still dont have my crap.  GROWL!  Finally, I pull out my bitch, dust it off and put it on.  Temp tells me, even though Moron D is back on duty, to go and buy my vacuum and mixer from store X.  Temp tells me that its a little bigger than the one I had but it has the attachments I want.  And they have my vacuum.  So I go to store.  My vacuum is being discontinued, this is a floor model, its been used.  Mine was brand new when I bought it.  I'm not buying a used one.  I buy the mixer.  Its bigger than the one I had and more expensive.  I'm driving home and I think, WTF.  Why did I wait three weeks to get my mixer, and now I have one that I did not own for more money that I would have spent if they had just let me go out and buy one in the first place.  I have hubby return it.  bastards.  Next day, I go out and buy my damn mixer and vacuum. 

Apparently this woman, Moron D, also  did not believe in providing information.  Or maybe it was one of the secret spy things...I cant tell you that...its on a need to know basis?  I scanned all of my receipts(KLP's house again) then photoshoped them apart, put the date and amount on the top and saved them as .gif files.  Then I filled out their POS pdf form, the one that if you have to many lines it bogs down to the point of me wanting to scream, and emailed it to her.  She emails me back and says that's fine, but that the receipts should also have the line item number from the pdf form.  Would have been nice if she had provided me with that information before I did this.  So I reopen all 76 gif files and add item numbers.  I say, would you like me to send the rest of the expenses to you, there are a lot of attachments.  She says yes.  I do.

Apparently, this was to much for her to handle.  Next thing I know, hubby is on the phone with here cause I'm annoyed at something.*gasp* and she proceeds to tell my hubby how stressful it is to have to open all of the files and figure out how to print them.  WHAT?  STRESSFUL!  She is so lucky that she wasn't talking to me.  I would have handed her head to her after I tore it off and kicked it up and down the street a few times.  Stupid Bitch(sorry mom)

She tells hubby that I need to redo this and copy and paste all receipts into a word doc for her.  I say NO!  She also tells me that the eating out we did while homeless goes to the knuckle dragger not her and I have to re do those also.  DONT THEY HAVE A MANUAL FOR THIS SHIT.  I find out later, after I did not do as she asked, that she sent the receipts on to knuckle dragger anyway but didn't tell me.  If I had redone all of those for nothing, I swear I would have found her and.....I tell her I need money, I have justified the 10K I originally got and spent.  She sends me 1k.  Moron.  That was spent before I even got it, I just hadn't done the receipts yet. 

Next, I call her boss.  I'm am so done with these idiots.  Well, he was no better.  He keeps asking what can he do for me, to help me.  I keep replying I DONT KNOW, ITS MY FIRST FIRE!  bastards

Now we are done with their crappy pdf inventory sheets.  so I create an excel that looks just like it.  Hubby sends her example of it.  She cannot figure out how to print it so its on one page.  Sigh...hubby asks one question and puts to answers in the emails.  Says please choose answer A or answer B.  She creates answer C and never answers the damn question!

did I mention that my agent HAS NOT EVEN CALLED US YET!

Now, I refuse to even deal with Moron D.  So, I start asking my structure guy, knuckle dragging M questions.  He informs me that he provided me with paperwork when he met with us, and it explained how things work.  I said you did?  when?  He says, July 19th. I reply oh, you mean THE DAY OF THE FIRE??  I inform him that for gods sakes man, i was wearing borrowed socks(JV) and I didn't even remember getting paperwork.  He then suggest to me that I go out and buy a binder with tabs and suggests that I get a hole punch (sorry KLP) and put my important papers in it.  (he is buried in my other garden)  I let him finish explaining how to keep track of paperwork to me, all the while thinking how he would never talk to my husband this way, then I explain that I did go to the store, and I bought this really cool metal cabinet, with drawers and I bought hanging file thingys and folders to put in them and I even wrote on them.  bastard.  I wont talk to him either anymore.

Now hubby has had enough.  He calls OUR AGENTS OFFICE and lets them have it.  Next thing we know our agents office, NOT OUR AGENT calls and assigns someone to work with us.  Luckily they call hubby first, so he can soften me up.  Hubby rightfully explains that we need a liaison.  We need someone to help us with all of these companies.  To explain stuff and stuff.  I say fine, I'll talk to the woman, but I might not be very nice. 

So, she calls, I talk to her. I am polite, but at the end I did get testy.  I was explaining how the electronics company has taken advantage of me and screwed me over.  I rather tersely inform her that this would not have happened if I had an agent or adjuster that knew what the hell they were doing.

Next day, GodSend D2 calls me.  I now have a new adjuster!  Big surprise there!  J was fired, J1 never called as she was on vacation, Temp was kicked by contractors I didn't even know, and Moron D was fired.  Ok...lets just hope. 

D2 comes out to my house.  Sits with me for 3, yes, THREE hours.  We go over everything.  She is appalled that Moron D showed up dressed that way. Tells me that she has a box in her car with boots, gloves, masks etc.  I think I'm in love!

Later, I email her a couple of questions, made them very simple, bullet pointed them.  Guess what she did.  In red font, after each question, she ANSWERED THEM! 

So two months after my fire, AND MY AGENT HAS STILL NOT CALLED ME, I have an adjuster that knows that the hell she is doing and gives a damn about us.  She is checking with me, answering my questions and sometimes before I even ask them.! She says, you need money, heres 10K.  Its your money, do what you want with it, but when you replace something save the receipt. 

When this is all said and done, I hope that I still am in love and I add her to my Christmas card list.  I hope that I allow knuckle dragging M to live, and I cannot wait to report my agent to the Insurance regulatory board and the VP of Agents for SF.  I have his name and number!

MUHAHAHAHAHAHHA  You ticked of the wrong woman you bastard!  And dont you dare show up and my house now, I'll have you arrested for trespassing! 

I dont know if I have a part 8 yet...

Part 7 let the insanity begin

Unless you have suffered, and yes, i do mean suffered, through a large loss, that is what it is called in my world, you cant grasp the absolute chaos that ensues.  Some of my GF's know, they were there the day of the fire.  Not the middle of the night, although KF did come to my rescue, poor thing...I think we scared her to death!

I'm talking about the day time, seems like the next day, but it was actually the same day.  Insanity erupted at the house of Mayhem.  Not only were friends and family there, helping, consoling, assisting in what ever means possible, but companies where there to take stuff.  Oh, and the vultures.  More on vultures later.

Companies....there was a company there to take all of our clothes, linens, towels, bedding, drapes, throw pillows, throw blankets, everything washable. 

There was a company there to take everything electronic, from flash drives, to old cell phones, to my TV's and *gasp* Xbox. 

There was a company to take pictures of every room of my house, from every angle, and then to start boxing up every single possession we owned.  Marking it alive or dead.

Do you know how humbling it is to have complete strangers go into your underwear drawer and put all of it into a bag?  OMG!  how bout those cute little items we wear on valentines day, or other special occasions that are hidden in the back of the drawer!  UGH!  It makes me shudder!!  God, I hope I didn't have any holey underwear in there!  They have all of C2's stuffed animals, her dolls clothes, but her doll is un salvageable. They have our cold weather gear...jackets, gloves, long socks, long underwear, sweaters, comforters.  Our bed has a cheap thin 'comforter' on it.  It SUCKS! 

They told us to give them a three day emergency supply of clothes and they would give us a 24 hour turn around on that.  So, they got all of hubbies dress clothes for work, C3's football clothes, a bunch for C2 and not much for me, cause kids come first.  i wound up wearing the same clothes for quite a while cause I forgot about myself.  I even remembered C1's clothes even though he was out of town. 

Of course, we had bought a bunch of stuff only because we didn't know that this was going to happen.  I think even if we did, I would have done it away...gone shopping for a couple of outfits for everyone.  its that mom nurturing thing I think?

Electronics company walks through and takes everything electronic.  Top to bottom.  Of course they have taken advantage of my.  Bastards!  See, at one point I told hubby that they had all of his electronic gear for his boat.  I figured it would make him feel better.  Hubby says, dont have them clean it. the other components were attached to the boat.  It will do no good to clean them since the boat melted into a pile of goo.  I tell them that.  See they give me a final pack out sheet with item numbers for each item and a desc and what room it came from to help me identify things.  So I tell them by item number which items not to clean regarding the boat.  They say, so clean the rest, I say, without thinking, yes.  WTF.  I have just paid to clean a VCR and DVD player that were under my bed, hadn't been hooked up in years.  A broken TV antenna that we used to stick out the window to watch the Bears lose.  Cell phones that were in the drawer cause I was to lazy to recycle them, a remote control to a tv we dont own anymore, etc etc.  See if I had had an agent(maybe part 8) that was telling me how to do things, i would have looked at the entire list and said, no dont clean that. 

I get the final pack out list and a cost cleaning list.  I paid 85 bucks to clean a vcr we didn't use anymore.  Sigh!  First, i can buy one for cheaper and second, give me a break.  The day of the fire, they also asked for an emergency list of items to rush to get back to them.  If I had knows that it would cost more to clean my POS netbook than it did to purchase a new one, I would have said no!  They took advantage of us. 

Cleaning bill from electronics company, $6,500. 
Cleaning bill from Cleaners, $5,500. 

This money comes directly out of my personal property amount.  Of course, every time the electronics company delivers something to us, we get charged.  We also get charged to have them store the items.  We get charged for the bubble wrap they wrap our stuff in.  I get charged for them to bubble wrap cell phones that are garbage.  Yippee!

One company I will mention by name.  ServPro.  AWESOME COMPANY.  Their job is to come in and box up every item that is left.  and I do mean every item.  and they count every item also.  My linen closet.  They take everything out, its all on the un list, and write down every single item and how much the container holds. 
3 Act kids flouride rinse 8oz
1 calcium tablets 250 600mg
4 deodorant axe 8oz

why the hell did we have 4 axe deodorants?? 
1 nail cutter
1 nail file
2 razors
1 suave conditioner 22.5 oz

and on and on and on. 
(my cat, you remember dumb ass, is on the ledge in the family room chasing his own tail)

they do this for each and every room.  Its quite humbling. 
Each time they removed a piece of furniture from a room, I was horrified to see the dust and crap under or behind it.  I mean HORRIFIED!  and at the same time, depressing. 

the people that we worked with were incredible!  If I got upset, which I did a lot, they all stopped what they were doing until I could continue on.  If said said WAIT...they froze. If I said, I cant part with that right now, they didn't argue.  They were kind, caring, sensitive, and funny!  But most of all, understanding!  They never rushed me, hurried me along, or acted impatient with me. 



Now everything goes back to the warehouse where it is unpacked again, and items are then seperated into un and salvageable.   Pictures are taken of the un and they are re boxed and eventually thrown into a giant pile.  Ready to be depressed?


Our wedding cake topper - un
but why were there 3 golf balls in my bedroom?
All of my laundry baskets
every single rubbermaid or tupperware container.
every single board game(they all have some sort of plastic pieces)
every single knitting needle and all yarn
most of my picture frames
a hell of a lot of books
every single lego
every single baby toy we had saved
every piece of thomas the train set
every single fall, Halloween, xmas decoration
C2's american girl doll
every nerf gun and bullet
all of C2's trinkets, bracelets, necklaces
99.9% of my kitchen

and now I have an excel spreadsheet with way to many tabs, one for each room, and a list of every single item that was in or near that room and is un.  I then get to get a replacement price for it.  I also have to put where purchased,  and how old it was. 

One thermometer  5.57
3 yellow bandanas  .99
1 chuckit dog toy  11.77
2 pair of socks  6.99
1 lego Electric Train  129.99

For all 2500 items on this list.  Now keep in mind that some items are not on this list because we are all human and  this list does not include the thousands of items located in the garage.  

Once this list is done, then I head out to stores and try to remember things that were not on the the list.  not to mention that were in the garage! 

hey folks...if you haven't looked at your insurance policy in 5+ years do it!  We all have several computers now and Ipads and other cool gadgets you didn't have back them.  We will hit our coverage on personal property.  It should have beeen upped.  We got it back before we even had one computer, now we have 7!  OUR AGENT SUCKS!  more on him later.

so, now I am looking up prices.  and adding ages to my items.  My favorite age of an items is 147 yrs!  Fantastic!  Although I have been told by several people that everything is less than 3 yrs old :)

So far the house alone is over 75K in  personal property loss.  Not including the garage, and appliances.  Appliances that are hooked up to the house, like your dishwasher are structure, those that are not, electric range, or fridge are personal property.  I dont know what washer and dryer are yet.  And this does not include furniture that is toast, which is most of our furniture. 

The only thing left alive in our house, furniture wise, is our bedroom set and the boys bunk beds.  Maybe a coffee table.  that's it.  The rest is dead. 

To replace my dining room set alone will be over $1,000.  Not to mention the rest of the furniture.  Sigh...this is exhausting! 

are we done yet?  I so want to be done with this! 

Next up...adjusters...a living hell

Part 6...our crazy cat

So, we have this cat.  He's a 15 pound tom cat.  Got him at animal shelter a little over a year ago. 

See, I decided that we needed a cat.  We 'found' a kitten but he had issues, so he was given away for free.  But, I missed having a cat.  So, even though hubby didn't want a cat, like that has ever stopped me before, I went to the shelter to look at cats.  the first one I looked at was hissing at the other cats, so I didn't think that would be a good fit.  The second one, I opened the cage and he climbed up my arm and put his head on my shoulder.  I figured I had been picked.

He fits in fine in this crazy house of Mayhem.  Mainly because, he's crazy.  He will run to up the dogs, jump up on his hind legs, smack the dog in the face and then run away.  Its amazing he's not dead yet. 

So, now, the fire happens.  C2 is sitting on the sidewalk in the middle of the early morning, holding on to one of the dogs, crying because she does not know where the cat is.  Hubby finds one of the firemen, BGjr who I went to college with, and asks him to go inside and find the cat.  and if the cat has not survived, to please let us know but not to bring the cat outside in front of us. 

BGjr, takes two guys in and eventually comes out with a live cat. I didn't realize it for a while.  Hubby told me later that the cat was in his car.  They bring the cat out and ask hubby where do we want him?  Really?  its a cat?  Hubby had no idea, so they stuck him in the car! 

This is how he wound up going to walmart with us.  So, we are back at the house now. Sun is starting to come up, cat is still in the car, hiding under the front seat.  to say he is freaking out is an understatement.  They found him up in our bedroom hiding behind our bed.  I think I mentioned that already?

Now, the sun is coming up, and its starting to get HOT out.  I cannot leave him in the car.  So, I call KLP at 7am.  Actually, I didn't know it was 7am at the time.  I just knew it was morning.  So, I wake her up.  Apparently, I asked her if she was home.  She replied, in a rather smart ass tone of voice, that of course she was home, she was sleeping.  :)  I told her that we had had a little house fire, and that I needed her help.  She says of course, what can she do.  I ask if she can take my cat.  she says sure.  so I drive over. Now, I'm in the driveway, trying to pry my cat from under the driver seat of the car.  He is having none of it.  He's armed at all four you know.  He's dug in big time, and freaking out! 

I decided at that point it was probably not such a good idea.  KLP has a cat, but its this little tiny thing that is declawed.  I could just picture my cat killing hers!  So, I stop in for a minute, chit chat about, I have no clue, and head off to the vets office, hoping that they could board him.

***the cat is currently chasing nothing up and down the stairs as I type this


The vet looks him over and says he's ok.  Agrees to board crazy cat.  So, off he goes.  Now after about 3 days??  C2 really wants the cat back and so does c1.  So, hubby and kids go off and pick up the cat and take him to the hotel.  They were thrilled.  Cat, not so much.  That night he spent the entire night walking around the hotel crying very very LOUDLY!.  Its a good thing that the only thing I could reach at one point was a pillow as I chucked it across the room at him. 

We understood how he was feeling.  He didn't have any of his stuff.  He didn't have any of his hiding places, or a place to sleep at.  He as just freaking out like the rest of us.  Difference was, he was crying out about it and we were not. 

After the second night of this, hubby calls the vet and says, you have got to give us something to calm this cat down.  We were afraid we were going to get kicked out of the hotel!  Lord knows we would have had no place go to after that. 

See, according to miller rules, if the worst could happen it will.  At that same time, the international world series of baseball was in CL. 
Every single hotel room in CL was booked!  This is why we couldn't have all of the kids staying with us. they didn't even have any roll aways!

So, vet says to hubby, well we would have to see him first.  Hubby says, but you just boarded him for 3 days.  Vet says, whats his name,  Hubby says, Mr. Bill.  Vets says hang on. Looks up our records rather than the cats records.  Vets comes back and says to my hubby...well...here is the problem, when you wife checked him in she called said his name was DA.  Hubby says  DA?  what is that...vet says, while laughing.  Your wife called him Dumb Ass. 

Apparently, hubby almost drove off the road at that time!  Needless to say we got drugs for the cat.

Every try to give a cat a pill?  I have the scars to prove it can be done, just not very easily.  And..a cat on drugs is VERY fun!  It was the most entertainment we had had since the fire!  He actually fell into the bathtub and laid there upside down, just meowing!  We were in hysterics!

Oh, and his name is no longer Mr. Bill.  Its Dumb Ass.  the kids call him DA for short!


Part 7...not sure yet...either what happens the day of the fire, or adjusters and our week of hell has just begun ( sounds like a rocky and Bullwinkle episode)

Part 5 --- Walmart

Thank God we did not have to stand there alone in the dark for very long...I'm not sure what we would have done.  Cried, screamed, run naked down the street?

A board up crew came.  According to insurance rules, we have to make every effort to secure our property.  Hence the board up crew.  We could not have left until we made sure our property was secure or if someone broke in and stole stuff, it would be our fault and insurance would not have paid for it.  Begs the question, what if we were injured and removed from the property?  I suppose the police would have stayed?  Who knows.

Now in case you are wondering, hubby did call SF sometime while the house was still on fire to report it.  dont forget he worked in the insurance biz for a dozen years.  Woman on the phone was fantastic!  Asked if we were all ok first off!  Why is this a surprise...I'll tell you about that part later....
Then asked if we needed a place to stay, which was a silly question but in retrospect, she could not see our house and did not know it was un inhabitable.  She asked hubby for the name of a couple of hotels in the area and she called and arranged it, calling him back to tell him that we had rooms at the Country Inn and Suites.  WONDERFUL PEOPLE THERE!

So, board up crew comes.  Nice couple of guys.  Tough living them have. I actually dont know who called them?  Hubby?  SF?  FD?  No clue.  Now that is not an easy job.  Sound asleep then they have to get up and drive an hour to board up a house.  And it was more than just boarding up.  They had to put in studs to actually shore up garage.  Most of the studs in the back and side had burned through.  The garage door was only half since the FD had broken the top half off in order to gain access.  So they had to put studs there to so they had something to nail the plywood to.  Then, of course they had to tarp in case it ?rained?.

I remember tugging hubbies arm and saying 'honey..we HAVE to go to walmart'  He knows what that means.  Believe it or not, the man that fishes and hunts and guts his own kill, cant handle the world period!  He hasn't every bought me tampons or pads while out.  It freaks him out.  What a dork!

So, off we go.  I wonder what we would have done if I hadn't had my period.  Would we just have sat there in the dark?  It was a good distraction.

I dont remember if we talked on the way to Walmart.  I'm sure we did.  Just no clue what.  We pull into the parking lot around 4am ish?  Of course, its empty. Hubby is dressed, I'm in my jammies.  We both smell of smoke and look a wreck.  I wonder if I had bed head?  Hubby obviously didn't!

We go to get out of the car when suddenly I realize that there is still a cat in the car under my seat!  DOH! Hubby and I just sat there for a minute looking at each other.  What were to do with with a crazy cat stuck under the seat of the car at 4am in the parking lot of Walmart?  There was nothing we could do.  If it was the dogs, we could have talked to mgmt and asked permission to bring them in.  I'm sure in light of the circumstances, they would have said yes.  But you really cant put a cat on a leash and this one was nuts due to being trapped in the fire for 2 hours.  I should say house, not fire...its not like he was on fire for two hours :)

So, we decided it was still dark out, slightly not to hot, we just leave him.

So, off we go.  As we are walking in, I turn to hubby and tell him that if I see anyone trying to take a picture of me in my jammies, no bra, I will personally beat them to death with their phone!  The last thing I needed was to wind up on peopleofwalmart.com! 

I remember heading over the the toothbrush section.  It was kind of interesting.  You ever see those movies or tv shows where the people just sweep an entire row of items into their cart.  It was kind of like that.  Picture it now...Picture your bathroom.  Everything in it has to be replaced in one shot.

Partial list includes, tampons, tylenol,advil,toothbrushes,toothpaste,soap,shampoo,bandaids,floss..then clothing x5 included underware, socks, shorts, tshirts,.  I dont think I have every actually filled a cart at Walmart before.  We were overflowing!  I needed a bra desperately, the girls were just swinging...it was uncomfortable in more ways than one.  I felt like one of the little old ladies whose girls are heading south!  So I bought a sport one because I could not for the life of me remember what size.  Well, it didn't matter, I bought the wrong size for myself anyway.  Two girls became one and became very uncomfortable.  My GF LJ said they were cuddling...yeah..thats the ticket.

Management at Walmart was very nice. We spent 450 bucks and they gave us a 50 dollar gift card.  Actually, I thought that was kind of cheesy.  We are standing there, smelly, dirty not fully clothed, and they give us 50 bucks!  woohoo!  Ok, fine, i'm being bitchy..Sorry.

As I'm standing there in the underwear section trying to buy underwear from C2, it hits me..I start crying in the middle of Walmart.  OMG!  I just realized they probably have me on security tape.  I wonder if they played it later and were laughing at me.  They probably were...morons :)

Hubby comes over asks whats wrong...I cant remember what size underwear C2 wears.  How can I not know?  What size does C3 wear? what type does he prefer, briefs, boxers, boxer briefs?  I can't remember.

I bought C3 the wrong size socks.  Way to small.  I have no idea if C2 had the right size underwear.  I know my bra didn't fit.  We were doing great.

How long did we spend in there, wandering around, me crying half the time looking at things that I no longer had.  I have no idea.  It seems like only 2 seconds that took 2 years. 

Where did we go from there?  I have no idea.  At some point we wound up back at the house but I dont know what time.  did we stop at the hotel first?  I dont know.  Where did I get dressed at?  I have no clue, dont remember.  I just hope it wasn't in the parking lot at Walmart!

Part 6 - The Crazy Cat!

Part 4...all alone in the dark

Again, most of the evening after the fire is a blur.  I am trying to remember bits and pieces but I just cant seem to. 

its like the game boggle.  You shake things up and put it down and try to make sense out of the jumbles.  I  only come up with 3 letter words, never more.  Same thing here..I can remember small pieces, but never more.

Did I mention that the bird survived?  The firemen brought him out.  He was bouncing around the bottom of the cage for a minute or two but perked right up.  He was hanging downstairs in the family room.  If he had been in the boys room he would have died.  C1 was thrilled!

I did find out later that hubby asked BGJr, I went to college with him, to look for C2's cat.  That if the cat did not survive they were not to bring him out.  BGJr took two men with him and headed in.  C2 was sitting on the sidewalk crying, asking about her cat.  I had told her, I think, that cats are very very good at hiding and surviving.  After a bit, the bring the cat out. He was hiding behind my bed.  I figured that out the next ?day? when it was light out and we went inside...my bed was pulled out and in the center of the room.  It took me a minute, but I realized why.   He's ok.  They put him in hubbies car.  We didn't know what else to do with him.

G's take the other two kids as the oldest has already left.  Fire man takes hubby and me into the house.  Most of the neighbors have gone back home as some of the fire trucks have left and there is no more true excitement.

Hubby and I go inside.  I'm not sure there are really words to describe what we see.  Besides the obvious darkness as by now the power has been shut off, the air is thick with smoke and this god awful stench.  Its hot, humid, dark, dank....i'm not sure there are enough descriptive words to explain it.  We start to go upstairs and I stop.  The firemen are still putting out hot spots in the garage and it is now raining on my dining room table.  (un salvageable)   I did find it rather odd that it was raining inside my house.  Slightly comical. Hubby stops and comes back down and I pointed it out to him, look, its raining in the dining room!

Now, this is all I remember of the tour of the house.  We go upstairs and I think, Thank you mother nature, I need to grab my box.  I enter the bathroom and go to grab them, and fireman says, NO!  You can take nothing out of here.  Its not safe.  I think...oh crap...I turn to leave the bathroom and grab my contacts.  I turn to him and say, these I am taking.  I must have had a look on my face as he didn't say another word. 

Honestly, that is all I remember about the house tour. 

We are now back outside..Oh...did I mention I was grilled by about 4 different firemen!  Each asking about the fire pit or did I have candles burning.  Oh...So I'm in the backyard, I dont know if its before or after the tour of the house, and I look at the fire pit where sitting on the edge is a melted bottle of something and its smoking..I turn to fireman and say, what is ....then I grabbed his arm and say something like OMG!  He turns and says , 'what what!  I tell him that the smoking bottle is muratic acid, then I remembered...theres a glass bottle of sulfuric acid in the garage...by where the fire was eating everything.  Fireman takes off towards the garage.

Why did we have a bottle of sulfuric acid in the garage you are wondering.....When we cleaned out His Dad's place a couple of weeks earlier, this was in the basement.  We didn't know what to do with it, so we brought it to our place and put it in our garage until we could ask , wait for it....the fire department, what to do with it!  We figured they deal with hazardous chemicals, the would know.

By now I have to go potty.  I cannot go into the house again, they have giant fans trying to suck the ick out of my house, and its dark and nasty.

I go to JKF house.  We chat for a minute, then I head back home.  Its dark.  Not just dark, but DARK.  The firemen have rolled up their hoses, unplugged their lights and left.  Its DARK.  I call out to hubby..just so I can find my way.  We walk back to the front of the house and stand there, alone in the dark. 

Everyone has gone home.  The firemen finally had brought out some pants for hubby and his shoes wallet and keys..he's standing there dressed, I'm in my jammies, no bra.  We stand there alone, in the dark, looking at our house...what was left of our house, utterly alone.  Lost, scared, clueless.  We had no where to go....we didn't know if we should go somewhere, should we stay?  

Now what?

Up Next..Part 5  Why Walmart???

Part 3...The Phone Calls

I had to make three phone calls that morning.  Please keep in mind that by the word morning, I mean 1:30am. 

The first was to my parents.  I can tell you, that was the hardest call I have ever had to make in my life.  I pray that I never have to ever, do that again.

I call my folks' house phone as I figured that they wouldn't have their cell phones in their bedroom.

Dad Answers.  I say, "WE ARE SAFE"  three times.  Dad wakes up.  He says what's the matter.  This is the first time I break down.  I choke out, my house is on fire, BUT WE ARE SAFE, I need you. 

Now my dad is a man of few words.  I like that about him, especially that night.  He say's "we are on our way" and hangs up.  Perfect.

I find out later that he jumps out of bed and starts getting dressed.  Mom sits up saying, what whats wrong, where are you going.  I didn't ask dad what he said to mom or her reaction.  That was just an image I still dont want in my head.  I actually dont  even think about it.  As I am typing this, I have pushed it out of my head.  I dont want to know. 

Now, may parents may be a little older than me :)  I am so being nice here, but they can fly when they want to.  I once checked their gps after one of their little trips to visit my sister, and the max speed was 102.  They both blamed eachother.

According to my parents, they broke every single traffic law know to man on the way to my house.  Mom would look one way at a red light, dad would look the other and they would just go.  I am guessing they were going about 80 down Route 14. 

Second call.  And I dont remember if my folks, I usually refer to them as The G's, for future reference, were there yet?  There was quite a bit of wandering around on my part?  At least that is how it felt.  Trapped in a bubble, wandering almost in circles, not knowing what to do with myself? 

We, people in general, usually have some control in our lives.  We get up, do our stuff, live our lives. That morning I had no control over anything.  I could only wander around in circles, in my jammies.  no control, totally and utterly helpless.

Anyway..second call.  I have already written about.  C1 was due to leave at 4am on a bus to go to Boundry Waters.  it was supposed to be a wonderful canoe trip for the boys and their adult leaders. 

Second call...To one of the leaders going on the trip.  SR.  A good friend I have know for 8years? give or take. 

Boy am I glad that she answered the phone and not her hubby.  How in the world would I do that one.  Um...Hi M, is S there?  At 2am.  How odd.  Anyway...I tell her, I am very sorry but I dont know if C1 is going to be able to go on this trip.  See the problem is that on these trips, you cannot have someone drop out at the last minute unless a death or house fire occurs.  They have everything planned down to the last detail.  They have giant packs to carry, canoes to portage, etc etc.  You cannot be down a man.  So anway, I continue.  I tell her, There is no easy way to say this, but my house is fire.  His gear is in the living room, and well, my house is on fire.  I dont know if its ok. 
She asks if I need anything.  I reply, S, I am standing here with my cell phone in my jammies.  I will call you back.

I do remember at one point having to tell C1 that his bird might not survive.  C1 has been a huge bird fan since he was a little kid.  and I do mean huge. Ask him about any kind of bird and he will tell you all about, it.  I bought him this one for his Bday.  I was hand raised and hand fed.  It was a beautiful bird, very friendly, well, was friendly until the cat almost ate him twice.  then he became a little cranky.  So I tell C1 and he says, I know Mom.  Sigh...

Then I call JKF.  someone has to take these dogs.  She has three dogs, and does greyhound rescue.  I know she will take them.  Problem is, there is never a phone upstairs, but, oddly enough, one of the portables was upstairs.  Hubby answers.  He says I was very matter of fact.  Very even keel. 

Well, I think i was.  I had to stand strong in front of my kids.  If I fell to pieces, so would they.  I stayed strong and so did they.  There was only a little crying but nothing hysterical.  That was a good thing. 

So, I tell him that we had a little house fire and I needed him to come and get my dogs, bring leashes cause I dont have any.  He says ok.  Now, he wasn't even going to wake K.  He was just going to come, but she heard the phone and asked whats up.  Again, I didn't ask her what he said or her reaction.  I dont want to know the type of panic we caused the ones we love.

Now, I have no idea what time it is now.  Not that it matters.  I actually think that the G's got there before JKF came to get the dogs?  Not sure. 

So, G's show up.  That was hard.  Mom told my brother that she ran down the street.  My brother stopped her and said, wait....you ran??!?  I did clarify that later.  and I love you mom, that it was more like one of those cartoon characters where the feet are moving really really fast.  It was kinda funny. 

She found me first, or I found them first, and I got the biggest hug I think I've gotten since I announced that they were going to be grandparents.  I think she cried then too.  Then its a blur again...

KF and hubby show up and hubby leaves with Dogs. I notice KF looking around for me and I yell to her...then its a blur.

at some point, I think before everyone shows up, I happen to look down the street and see my friend L walking towards me.  I find that odd since she lives several blocks down...how could she see the fire from her house.  She comes and gives me a giant hug.  See, turns out that one of the boys that saved our lives txted her daughter and said, your not going to believe what we did.  Tells her, so L says well where on my street?  Cause she's to far down to see it. Boy txts back that he's standing out front helping hold two big dogs.  With that L runs out of the house and down the street.  I do find it odd that she ran down the two giant blocks rather than driving...would have been faster to drive.

Now things are very very very hectic...crazy, nuts...fast, slow, confused.  C1's gear is found and he says he wants to go.  He can't do anything here.  So SR comes and gets him.  I find it kinda funny too, that she showed up in her bare feet.  She had time to find shoes :)

Boy that was hard.  watching C1 leave.  Scary, hard.  Actually, hard to put into words kind of hard.  We would have no phone contact for about 7 days.  Would he be ok?  Did he have all of his gear? would he have nightmares?  Daymares?  You remember when you dropped your oldest off at their first day of preschool...you wanted to grab them back and shout, no you are not ready yet(or was that just me).  this was how I felt but 1000x worse.  I didn't want to split the family up but there he went down the sidewalk. 

Now its blurry again...snippets here and there but there is no order to those snippets.  Its like doing the dishes while watching a movie.  You only catch bits and pieces of it and then get very lost in the movie.

The younger two left with my parents.  I dont remember them leaving.  I know I gave them hugs and hugs and hugs...but I dont remember them leaving..

wow...how scattered is this post....this is exactly how it felt, still feels...scattered, insane, blurry, scary, surreal.....


Part 4.....They found the cat, and our trip to Walmart

Part 2....An impromptu block party

We left off we me in the doorway trying to figure out why the smoke coming into my house wasn't black and why it looked like cotton candy :)

Oddly enough...I dont remember running across the street. I actually remember seeing my family run across the street...in silhouette form...like some kind of movie?  I wasn't running with them but kind of standing off to the side watching everyone scamper.  Isn't that odd?

So, now we are across the street...I actually think I was in that group, because I had a handle on a dog...That is I had my hands wrapped around Coopers collar and was half walking him on his back legs, half following him as he dragged me.  He was as confused and panicky as the rest of us.

We get across the street as two squad cars come flying and I do mean FLYING down our street.  They fly past us and momentarily I think, really, how could you miss it...and they spin around in the intersection.  I yell to C2, Hold Him, and hand cooper off and start running towards the officers yelling, 'we are out, we are out'.  I point to the house next to us, screaming, there is a family in there, get them out....the other house next to us is vacant!.  I couldn't bear the thought of someone getting hurt trying to make sure we are out, or breaking into my neighbors house that is empty.

**I find out a week or two later...  My neighbor at the corner BG works for the Fire Dept.  And oddly enough, their house had burned two years ago.  I wonder if its our street.  So...He was not on duty that night but hears his radio go off for our street.  They both jump out of bed and CG opens the shutters on the window and looks out..she says, it was like looking at the sun.  The entire bedroom lite up.  She turned to her hubby and started  yelling that it was the M's house... BG calls in the correct address.  The boys were off by one number, but according to the Police, you could see it from half a mile away.  BG yells at CG to see if we are coming out of the house.  Can you just imagine the panic that he must have felt?  Its his job to save people.  He's getting dressed, his neighbors house is on fire, its the middle of the night, HE KNOWS US.  its not a strangers house he's going to.  Its not a routine fire...I went to college with his kids!  They have know our children and held them as newborns!  This is personal!  As CG opens the door to look for us, her cell phone goes off.  Her daughter S, and I lived across from eachother in the dorm at college!  Her hubby is a police officer in a different town, but heard the call.  He calls S, she txts Mom.  CG says, its my house...but at that moment sees us running across the street.  Tells S that we are safe, tells BG that we are safe, BG radios fire company, family appears to be out.  I dont even remember seeing her outside or him running over!

Me and kids are standing in front of neighbors house.  I grab each kid...look at them...actually, can you believe I dont remember that either.  I know I grabbed C2 by the face and looked in her eyes...I'm sure I said something...but i have no idea what.  I wish I could remember, I wish I KNEW beyond a shadow of a doubt that I said something wonderful and motherly and inspirational to each child...but I just cannot remember.

I dont remember the fire trucks pulling up. Isn't that odd?  I just realized that now.  I didn't see them pull up.  there were 12 of them for God's Sake!  How could I miss them.  They were staged down to the power lines, and around the corner!  There was a ambulance in my neighbors driveway across from my house and the big hook and ladder was directly in front of my house, trying to raise up the ladder.  (trees were to big, so they couldn't use it)  Every fire truck my town has plus two from surrounding areas were there...and I dont even remember them pulling up!  I wonder what I was doing...

Oh wait...I took a couple of pictures.  OF COURSE I DID!  We were safe, we were out, we were standing there....what else would I do! I just hope I comforted my children before I took pictures!  I wish I had taken pictures of the fire trucks!

I remember asking my neighbors for a glass of water.  I remember that as clear as day.  I felt like I had been walking through a desert for a year.  I was so parched!  Bless their hearts.  They gave me water and gave my boys shirts.  Someone gave my husband a sheet.  Personally, I think it was a dream come true.  Who doesn't dream about prancing around in front of their house in the middle of the night in a t-shirt and underwear!  :)

I specifically remember pulling my hands through my hair, standing in LE driveway, away from the kids, standing there either saying outloud or in my head, this is a dream, this cannot happen to us, this is not real...why is this happening..how could this happen...please let me wake up......

At one point, I grabbed C2 and the dogs and started walking them towards JKF's house...but only made it to the corner of my block before I felt that I just could not leave....I dont know when that was...but I remember doing it.

I do remember that the kids who saved our lives....standing there with my kids, holding my dogs.  I hope they were comforting to my children...I pray they were kind and caring...They were there forever helping C2 hold the dogs.  Bless them!

I remember constantly looking at LE's front door.  She is my darling neighbor across the street. She is 90.  We keep an eye on each other.  I keep looking for her lights to come on.  I want to be able to run to her, to tell her we are ok.  To re assure her that we are fine.  Please dont be scared, we are ok.  Eventually, she does come to the door.  Neighbor behind her calls because she sees the lights.  Her son is a fireman at my house right now.  She wants to make sure that LE is ok, that they trucks are not there for her.  I see LE at the door, I run to her and tell her we are ok...I reassure her, tell her to go sit down, to be careful not to trip and fall.  I re assure her, trying to reassure myself at the same time.

Part III next...the phone calls. 

I have realized that this is mentally and emotionally exhausting...I'm going to go game for a bit. :0

Part 1...Fire Day

I was just re reading my blog postings from fire day on...Yes, I know, depressing, crying, sad, horrifying...but  enlightening.  I realized there are a lot of little details missing.  So, I am going to start at part 1...More for myself...to help me remember, so I dont forget the little details...So as we heal, I will always remember one of the darkest days of my, of our lives.

Lets start on July 18, 9pm.  It was a very hot night..I was very cranky and felt cruddy since mother nature decided to give me my little gift.  Yippee!

I was sitting under the newly obtained and modified candle chandelier I had purchased for $5.00 at a thrift store.  (sshhhhh...dont tell my insurance company I only paid $5 bucks for it) (KIDDING).  I had been knitting, of course, but it was HOT!  The kids had begged and begged me for a fire that night, but I said no.  Get this...I distinctly remember telling that it was to hot and to dangerous.  We had not had rain in such a long time, that it would be to dangerous to have one.  If an ember from the fire put floated up and landed somewhere that we didn't notice, we could...wait for it....BURN DOWN SOMEONES HOUSE!  Yes, that's right...I actually told the kids that.

I remember sitting out back under my beautiful pergola waiting for my candles to burn themselves out.  They were nubs anyway.  So once they were out and yes, I checked them, and no there were none other lit, oh wait, yes there were. I had to in modified hanging lights, now turned into standing lights over by the walkway.  I blew those out too. I can prove it, it was the other side of the house that caught fire!

I went in after giving C1 permission to stay up all night.  We were getting up at 3am because he was to catch a 4am bus heading to Boundry Waters.  I figured, why should he sleep.  I, however, went to bed.  C1 was quite mad at himself for going to bed.  He was going to stay up till 3 but was to tired.  He said, if only he had stayed awake, he might have seen it earlier than it was caught...saved the house...etc etc..

I set the alarm on my phone, cause I didn't own an alarm clock any more for 3am.  And I always keep my phone on my night stand.  See, we only have one phone in our house.  Its attached to the wall in the kitchen.  I figure that if someone ever tries to break in, (yeah right, in this neighborhood?) I can call 911.  Course, my dogs would eat them first but oh well.  And cause I need to check FB before I go to bed and its the first thing I check when I wake up :)

So.  Hubby and I are woken up by the loudest pounding I've ever heard in my life.  Have you ever been trapped in road construction where the giant machine is pounding giant poles into the ground?  It was like that, but louder.  Hubby ran out of bed and I grabbed my phone.  Honest, it was only to look at the time.  the time was 1:10am.  In my sleepy mind, I thought we had overslept and that this was someone from the bus looking for us.

I dont hear anyone but my hubby now...I hear him ask very very quizzically, my house is on fire?  I didn't even hear the dogs barking.  they had to be right?  they bark at a leaf flying by.  Hubby said something else, but neither him nor I remember what.

I fly out of bed, no phone or glasses.  I run to C2's room.  Open the door and while holding on the door handle start screaming, 'GET UP GET UP GET UP, THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE, RUN RUN RUN. '  C2 later asked me why I didn't come into her room to wake her up.  I told her that I didn't know what was on fire.  I didn't know if I had the time to walk the three steps into her room to wake her or not.   there was no smell of smoke inside the house at this time, no obvious signs of fire.  No sounds, no smell, we had power.  Heck these boys could have been high or something (BWAHAHAHAH) and been pulling our legs, except for what ever my husband said after he opened the door.

I remember, beating on C2's door, screaming, thinking this a nightmare...this is not real..this is not happening..I am not telling my children to run because the house is on fire...this is a joke...

Then I ran to the boys room where I did the same thing.  I saw C1 sit up..he's in the top bunk.  So C2 was up and C1 was up.  I ran back to my room, grabbed my glasses and phone and ran back to the boys room.  See c3 sleeps like the dead.  I only know that I ran back and grabbed my glasses and phone...

**I find out two days later...my neighbor behind me, Mr Bill,  had been tossing and turning in his sleep because it was to bright in his bedroom.  He thought we had left the outside spots on. Finally, he gets up and looks out the window to see our house on fire.  He calls my cell, I didn't even know he had my cell number, and that is the exact time I ran back to get it.  When I picked it up I must have answered it.  He starts screaming, get out of the house...hears me yelling run run run.  He knows we are safe, he hangs up calls 911, they say its been reported.  The, Mr. Bill, a retired insurance recovery specialist, takes pictures of my house on fire!  AWESOME!

I actually dont remember doing it.  I dont remember seeing the kids run past me, I dont remember putting shoes on, I dont remember anything until I get downstairs.

I know they are out, I would have never left the 2nd floor if there were not...did I actually double check?  Did I see them?  Did I hear them?  I have no idea.

I did find out later that C1 who shares a room with C3 actually lept out of the top bunk and woke up C3.  C3 told me that C1 grabbed him and didn't yell or scream, but stated loudly, 'dude we gotta run, the house is on fire'.  C3 then apologized as he reported to me that he said 'holy shit'.  I told C3 that if there was ever an appropriate time to say that, it was then.

So, I get downstairs, I'm at the bottom of the stairs, I dont remember actually looking out the back door.  I wonder if I stood there and stared, or did I just glance as I ran past?  I have no idea.

I get to the bottom of the stairs, I see the grass on fire..not on fire but on FIRE.  Big difference.  I see a wall of fire, but I dont smell smoke, I dont see smoke.  I dont feel heat.  I HEAR the fire.  I hear a pop and sizzle and something else but I dont know what.  Isn't it funny, that after a month and a half I can still remember it like it was yesterday.

I turn to go to the front door...its only about three steps from the stairs.  Now, we've all talked about what we would save if there was a house fire.  Family albums, wedding picture, grandmas silver...we hubby and I always joked about a newspaper I have.  Its professionally framed hanging right there between the stairs and the door.  Its an authentic New York Post, April 15, 1865 reporting the assassination of Lincoln.  Get this...as I was running towards the door, I actually thought to myself, I should grab that, it would be funny!  Honest, I did...then I thought, no that would be in bad taste.  How odd..how did I have such a long conversation with myself in a nano second?

I get to the door, its crowded but I dont know why at the time.  Big dog, cooper is there, I throw him out...smaller dog(ha, 80lbs) Molly panics and runs back inside..now I remember why its crowded..one of the boys who saved out lives, is behind me...grabs her and runs her past me outside.

I stop at the doorway..I now know that the outside of the house is on fire, the back...I think, if its safe, I should grab car keys to get the cars out of the driveway...They keys are in the kitchen about 7 steps away...(I have short legs).  Kitchen lights are on, I can find them easy.  I turn to go grab them, I look up kinda towards my dining room table? and see waves of white smoke pouring in.  It looked like a cloud? like cotton candy.  I'm pretty sure it was white though.  I wonder why it wasn't black..but it was white?  I think?  It didn't rush in, it just kind of wafted in.  I could have grabbed my car keys, I could see, it was not a lot of smoke, but, smartly, I said no way...and ran outside......


Enough for now...probably wont be able to sleep tonight now....and this is long enough....

another day...Part 2...the scene from across the street

I must have F*** with me on my forehead

I swear I must have  Fuck with me sign stamped on my forehead.  (yes, I know mom, I swore again)

I get that the replacing of items is a long and slow and tedious process.  I get that.  But..what I don't understand is why people must mess with me.  (there mom, I didn't say it again)  Do I look dishonest?  Have I acted that way in the past?  or now? 

I have stated from the beginning of this whole land of hell, I just want my stuff back. 

On July 30th,  I sent a list of must haves along with URL's and prices.  She said she would look to see if they could get better prices. 

August 17, yes, three weeks later, I put my bitch on.  Actually, I have my husband put his bitch on.  He calls, gives grief. 

I receive an email stating that I can purchase items on my own and in bold letter, states the monetary limits on it. 

Kitchen aid 4.5 qt mixer                 $262.11 total 

Um...ok...fine.  They will gladly order it 7-10 days for this price.  Its been three weeks already, but fine,whatever.   If I choose to buy it, I have to find it for no more than $262.11 including tax or they wont pay the difference.  *GROWL*  

Can you just feel me pulling my bitch out...

Two hours later, I get another email from the same person...stating that a store in CL has a Kitchen Aid Mixer, 5 quart(bigger size) and in bold type again, includes all attachments, for $349.00.  Go ahead and get this.

Oh, my must have list there were two attachments that I need.  This woman thinks and did not read the online ad, that the pasta roller, list price of $199.00 and the Shredder attachment, list price 49.99 is actually included.  

I am now dusting my bitch off...

I now own a mixer that I never owned before for $150 more than what I would have spent if THEY HAD JUST LET ME GO OUT AND BUY THE DAMN THING IN THE FIRST PLACE THREE WEEKS AGO.  and it does not include the attachments I need. 

Actually, this is pretty damn depressing.   If I go out and buy my mixer, and it costs $300 then they will only pay me $262.11.  Why?  I paid more than that when I bought it.  Why do I feel like I'm being punished.'

I wonder if they get kickbacks from some stores?   

If my agent gave a damn about us, which he doesn't, I would have a go between.  I dont.  He's never even called us since the fire.  But, if I'm late on a payment, I get a bright pink notice.  Maybe my next check to them should be partially burned.  

Local agent I contacted asking unofficial questions about this whole process, doesn't understand why they are giving me such a hard time.  Me neither.

I told them I need a new deep freeze.  I pick out the one I need.  She quotes 525.83.  I find it for 429.  How does she even have a job?

Her job is to find better prices and to jerk me around.  She sucks at better prices but is great at jerking me around.

Now I'm not sure what to do?  Hubby returned the mixer for me.  More to make a point than anything else.  

So, now I still dont have a mixer, still dont have a vacuum and they want to spend $100 more on my deep freeze.  

Can someone please explain to me what is going on here?

Do I call and rip heads off, Do I demand a supervisor, Do I switch agents so I can get a go between?  All options lead to more headaches.  

Sigh....I've got some zucchini that will rot soon since I cant shred them for Zucchini/Banana bread....anyone want them?