Today is C2's Brithday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY C2!. So...being the good mom, I run out this morning to buy her gifts! >:)
I had promised her to go to Kojacks and place an order to be delivered to her school for lunch. One they hit 5th grade, in my house, they no longer get stupid treats to give to everyone, they get lunch delivered. So..I drive by Kojacks, but its not open yet..ok no biggie. So I head to Target. Find a great space and go to get out of my car.....
Catastrophe hits. Well, not quite...so I had this old bottle of Pepsi, not a small one but a big one, sitting in my cup holder forever. Why? I dont know..well, it was half full. As I grab my bag and swing out of the car my bag grabs my OPEN bottle of old pepsi and dumps it in my lap and all over my car seat. SHIT! Now I look like I've had an accident and there is a huge puddle on my car seat. Whip around to the back seat looking for kleenex or blanket or anything to soak up the pop with. Woah....
I had gone grocery shopping yesterday. bought a 5lb bag of kitty litter. Left it in the car...just plain forgot it was there. Well, it has now exploded all over the floor of the backseat of my car. Why? I have no idea! Wait...Idea
I start grabbing hand fulls of kitty litter and spreading them on the front seat of my car. Hey, its absorbent isn't it. Now, I start pulling piles of kitty litter out of my car onto the pavement, while laughing out loud at the absurdity of this situation.
My pants are wet, I am sneezing kitty litter dust, I am littering it all over the ground, my car smells...well like kitty litter and I still have to shop for C2's birthday. Which is today!
I dont have time to go home and change, so I head into Target, wet pants and all. I get my shopping done there (buy more kitty litter) and realize that I have to hit two other stores to finish her bday shopping. (yes, I'm still wet and now sticky) So..I head to store two and a light bulb goes off..not literally. Turtle Wax. Maybe they can help!!!
God bless turtle wax. Explain it to the guy...he laughs his head off..takes my car and vacuums it out for FREE! not just the kitty litter, but the entire car!!! LOVE YOU ZACH
So, Head to store 2..Hobby Lobby...oh man....80% off sale here, 50% off sale there....good lord...lost track of time in the fake flower section. But wait till you see the new vases I got and flowers. Phone rings..dont recognize the number...its C2 asking where her lunch is!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
What time is it!!!! OMG!! Bad mom of the year award! It was her lunch time and I had forgotten to order her lunch. Said sorry a million times and told her to buy hot lunch. told her to buy two hot lunches! Leave Hobby Lobby, head to Dunkin Donuts, buy 100 donut holes (I dont care what they call them now, they are still donut holes) and head to C2's school.
Feel free to sing *HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY* btw...dunkin donut guy was in hysterics when I told him the story of my morning.
Home now...eating, decorating(wonder how long it will be before hubby notices new decorations) and wrapping gifts....Just realized that I forgot one gift...sigh...will have to go back out...but let me change my pants first.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Men are IDIOTS!
Ok....horrible blanket statement. I"m sorry. Not all men are idiots. The two men I encountered this morning are idiots. One, my hubby, one a complete stranger.
let me back up. As most of you know, I ventured out last week during the "Blizzard of the Century" to to claim my snow blower. It was my grandfathers snow blower(no I am not attached to it, I'm just saying its 15 yrs old) and it was dead. I paid $100 bucks, and brought it home. Used it that night to clear the 4 foot drifts on three driveways.
I should mention that we do three to four driveways by us. Ours, of course, and two elderly neighbors across the street.
The next morning, I continue to use it as the snow has reached epic proportions. Snow lower runs out of gas. Son retrieves gas can with gas from last year, and fills stupid snow blower. It wont start. Go get hubby, he mutters something about bad gas..it wont start. BAD GAS? Really??? A show of hands of all of you who dump out your gas at the end of the season so you can refill at the beginning of the season. Fine...maybe it is bad gas. So, I load myself up into my car, and attempt to drive to Ace. Finally get there...streets are very interesting. Buy new gas can and oil. Hit two different stations to find one open. Go home, with brand NEW gas. Guess what. IT WONT START.
We move it into the garage and spend the next 6 hours shoveling out 3+ feet of snow from two driveways.
Now we keep smelling gas...odd...wash jacket, still smell it. smell it in the house..check all boots etc..oh wait...snowblower is now leaking gas. sigh...stick it out back. and start calling guy who 'fixed it'. Have left 800 messages and he has not called back. Did cash my check though...sigh
So, hubby finds new guy and he will pick it up. Good, cause I cant put it in my car leaking gas. We take it out of the garage and stick it in the backyard so house does not continue to smell.
Dude shows up this morning. I explain the problem. he tells me that the reason it wouldn't start after it ran out of gas was because it was cold. *pause for comprehension* I dont know about any of you, but I have personal knowledge of the fact that engines dont cool off that quickly (scar on forearm) WAIT..., WHAT?? Dude...its a snow blower. It blows snow... snow is cold...it comes in winter...winter is cold.. WTF are you talking about. I am also pretty sure that when I started it prior to it running out of gas, it was in the COLD garage. its not like I gave the damn thing a blankey and cup of hot cocoa before I started it. I almost didn't give it to him, but it is leaking gas...so at least it will leak at his place and not in my garage. ..oh...and because it was in my backyard he informs me of another problem.
see it snowed again...and snow blower was covered with snow...so was gas cap...well, according to idiot man, the cap is vented. and it has snow on it...that is a problem. OMG! People, dont ever snow blow when its actually snowing out, your gas cap is vented and snow might get into the vents????? (sneeze the world bullshit here)
Then, idiot man looks at my roof...informs me that there is to much snow up there and it could affect the structural integrity of my roof. sigh....
JUST BECAUSE I HAVE BREASTS DOES NOT MAKE ME AN IDIOT!!! I actually have no idea why he chose to mention my roof to me. He didn't offer to go up there and shovel it off. Did he not notice that all of the roof has just as much if not more snow on them. The blizzard did not just hit my house you moron. it hit everywhere and I dont hear of anyone having structural integrity problems with their roofs.
I quickly give idiot man my gas leaking snow blower and go back inside. I will probably tell him, when he calls and tells me how much it is to fix it, to keep the damn thing. Oh wait...better...I'll tell him to put it outside for me to come get it, then I'll go get it but ask him to start it for me first...when I start, I will gasp and smack my forehead and exclaim....IT STARTED IN THE COLD! and walk away..
I call hubby...tell him all of this...he agress the guy is an idiot...when I tell hubby what he said about the roof, hubby says, well them, maybe I should get up there and clear some of the snow off.
YOU MORON! I TOLD YOU THAT THE DAY AFTER THE STORM AND YOU SAID IT WAS FINE, THERES NOT TO MUCH SNOW UP THERE..BUT A COMPLETE STRANGER TELLS YOU THAT AND YOU AGREE!.
(insert a string of very nasty swear words here)
That's it...I got nothing more, no witty ending..clever catch phrase...nothing..I got nothing....wait...wait..., no...nothing...happy fricking monday!
let me back up. As most of you know, I ventured out last week during the "Blizzard of the Century" to to claim my snow blower. It was my grandfathers snow blower(no I am not attached to it, I'm just saying its 15 yrs old) and it was dead. I paid $100 bucks, and brought it home. Used it that night to clear the 4 foot drifts on three driveways.
I should mention that we do three to four driveways by us. Ours, of course, and two elderly neighbors across the street.
The next morning, I continue to use it as the snow has reached epic proportions. Snow lower runs out of gas. Son retrieves gas can with gas from last year, and fills stupid snow blower. It wont start. Go get hubby, he mutters something about bad gas..it wont start. BAD GAS? Really??? A show of hands of all of you who dump out your gas at the end of the season so you can refill at the beginning of the season. Fine...maybe it is bad gas. So, I load myself up into my car, and attempt to drive to Ace. Finally get there...streets are very interesting. Buy new gas can and oil. Hit two different stations to find one open. Go home, with brand NEW gas. Guess what. IT WONT START.
We move it into the garage and spend the next 6 hours shoveling out 3+ feet of snow from two driveways.
Now we keep smelling gas...odd...wash jacket, still smell it. smell it in the house..check all boots etc..oh wait...snowblower is now leaking gas. sigh...stick it out back. and start calling guy who 'fixed it'. Have left 800 messages and he has not called back. Did cash my check though...sigh
So, hubby finds new guy and he will pick it up. Good, cause I cant put it in my car leaking gas. We take it out of the garage and stick it in the backyard so house does not continue to smell.
Dude shows up this morning. I explain the problem. he tells me that the reason it wouldn't start after it ran out of gas was because it was cold. *pause for comprehension* I dont know about any of you, but I have personal knowledge of the fact that engines dont cool off that quickly (scar on forearm) WAIT..., WHAT?? Dude...its a snow blower. It blows snow... snow is cold...it comes in winter...winter is cold.. WTF are you talking about. I am also pretty sure that when I started it prior to it running out of gas, it was in the COLD garage. its not like I gave the damn thing a blankey and cup of hot cocoa before I started it. I almost didn't give it to him, but it is leaking gas...so at least it will leak at his place and not in my garage. ..oh...and because it was in my backyard he informs me of another problem.
see it snowed again...and snow blower was covered with snow...so was gas cap...well, according to idiot man, the cap is vented. and it has snow on it...that is a problem. OMG! People, dont ever snow blow when its actually snowing out, your gas cap is vented and snow might get into the vents????? (sneeze the world bullshit here)
Then, idiot man looks at my roof...informs me that there is to much snow up there and it could affect the structural integrity of my roof. sigh....
JUST BECAUSE I HAVE BREASTS DOES NOT MAKE ME AN IDIOT!!! I actually have no idea why he chose to mention my roof to me. He didn't offer to go up there and shovel it off. Did he not notice that all of the roof has just as much if not more snow on them. The blizzard did not just hit my house you moron. it hit everywhere and I dont hear of anyone having structural integrity problems with their roofs.
I quickly give idiot man my gas leaking snow blower and go back inside. I will probably tell him, when he calls and tells me how much it is to fix it, to keep the damn thing. Oh wait...better...I'll tell him to put it outside for me to come get it, then I'll go get it but ask him to start it for me first...when I start, I will gasp and smack my forehead and exclaim....IT STARTED IN THE COLD! and walk away..
I call hubby...tell him all of this...he agress the guy is an idiot...when I tell hubby what he said about the roof, hubby says, well them, maybe I should get up there and clear some of the snow off.
YOU MORON! I TOLD YOU THAT THE DAY AFTER THE STORM AND YOU SAID IT WAS FINE, THERES NOT TO MUCH SNOW UP THERE..BUT A COMPLETE STRANGER TELLS YOU THAT AND YOU AGREE!.
(insert a string of very nasty swear words here)
That's it...I got nothing more, no witty ending..clever catch phrase...nothing..I got nothing....wait...wait..., no...nothing...happy fricking monday!
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