Change of pace...

Since my last blog consisted of everything I hate..or at least of the recent events that I hate...I decided to turn things around and make a list of the things that I love..

• I love my husband more than the day I married him
• I love my children more than life itself even when they drive me insane
• I love when they go to school >:)
• I love the smell of fresh cut grass
• I love the small of oncoming rain
• I love empty laundry baskets
• I love a clean sink
• I love vacuum lines
• I love payday
• I love planting flowers
• I love sitting around with my friends
• I love an ice cold nectarine on a hot day
• I love Cherry Jello
• I love a clean computer desk (i've seen it once)
• I love new socks
• I love Spongebob
• I love love clean sheets
• I love the quiet of the house when and if I wake up before the kids
• I love seeing my kids asleep...no...becaues they look like little angels (for a few minutes)
• I love walking out to get the newspaper when the temperature is perfect and the sun is out and the birds are chirping and the kids are still asleep
• I love jogging with Maggie
• I love knitting
• I love the pure innocence in Adams face...usually seen when he is asleep
• I love watching Ryan grow up..and melt down when he still needs me
• I love my parents..they are adorable and generous
  
• I love and miss my sister sooo much.
• I love bunny
• I love a balanced check book...dont know what one looks like, but love it anyway
• I love an ice cold pepsi any time of the day
• I love new shower curtains
• I love my tulips
• I love a clean unused towel when stepping from the shower (almost never happens)
• I love being the first to use a new tube of toothpaste
• I love pictures of Nature
• I love camping and hiking
• I love quiet
• I love mayhem
• I love the smell of fresh mulch
• I love going out on my boat
• I love a really really good cheese burger
• I love to cook
• I love to make up meals at the last minute ( the only way I know how to cook)
• I love spiders in my downstairs bathroom
• I love making my bed every morning and napping in it every afternoon
• I love when a headache goes away

These are a few of the things that I love...

Why are we depressed

So...my mom keeps pointing out that everything I says is negative. Yes, I talk and listen (sometimes) to my mom almost every day. It has gotten impossible not to with IM and Email and Facebook. I'M KIDDING MOM!!! We call eacother when we are early for an apt and are sitting in the parking lot waiting for an apt or some place to open :)

Anyway...yes, I have been very very negative lately. I hate negativity. Kinda. Negativity can be fun if you put the right spin on it.

So...I decided to try to figure out why I am being so negative lately.

Ok...Lets wander back a bit shall we.. My negativity goes back years, not sure about yours...

Iraq war..
I hate being lied to...I hate that our families are being torn apart...I hate that in our incredible ignorance, we believe that we can take a culture that has lived and died one way, for centuries, and expect them to embrace and accept our way of thinking, democracy, in a couple of years...I hate that our own government has lied to us over and over and over again.

The New Work Place
I hate that there is no loyalty in the workplace anymore....I hate that you can trust no one and must fear everyone...I hate that you can work for a company for 30+ years and be let go...I hate the constant living in fear...will we be employed tomorrow?...I hate that you can be treated like shit and you have no recourse because there are 1000 people unemployed and ready to take your job for half the pay.

The New Administration
I hate that I do not have a the warm and fuzzy feeling I had expected after Obama took office....I hate that I feel uneasy.

The Economy
I hate the fear that I have every single day over the complete and total collapse of the world economy...I hate that I fear that if this does happen, it will happen overnight and how will I feed my children. I hate that I fear it will happen in the winter and then, how will I keep them warm. I hate that I am glad that I am a gun owner...I hate and cry for those who are losing their jobs..I hate that I am glad it is them and not me...I hate seeing the lines at the food pantry..I hate that I have not stopped by and dropped off more food.

Swine Flu
I hate that while walking though a parking lot today, I feared and stared at someone coughing...I hate that I am terrified this could be the new Black Death...I hate that I am afraid I am overreacting...I hate that I am afraid that I am not reacting enough...I hate that the news media cant get it right....

In General
I hate being afraid...I hate wanting to pretend it doesn't exist...I hate knowing it does...I hate the hate, the fear, the uncertaintety, the pain, the saddness, the FEAR!

Am I being negative in my posts, my comments, my own internal thoughts...I am. But I have a few dozen damn good reason to feel this way...

and I hate it!

Just because I dont look the part

does not give you the right to treat me like a nobody!!!

Ok...lets start out with this

I run several small businesses which I created from scratch. They only make me enough money to cover my overhead, but I like it anyway.

So..I set up a checking, regular one, about seven years ago with my bank. Business accounts cost back them. I have been depositing money every month since then with no problem.

Today, I go to deposit three checks. Am told no because I dont have a business account. I say, no problem. Lets set one up. so I take a seat.

Now, as I sit there with my son c3, who is 5 waiting. I am watching two people wander aound and ignore me. We waited for 30 minutes! They ignored me for 30 minutes.

If my husband had been there in a suit and tie, they would have been jumping to help him, probably would have offered him scones and coffee. But, Here I sit, in my ball cap, and sweats and the child in tow and they ignore me. HAS SUSAN BOYLE TAUGHT US NOTHING!!!

So...finally I am helped. well, no not really. Am told that I need assumed name thing. Ok..I remember something about that. I have meant to do it for 7 years but forget :) Well, problem is, it takes time to do this. I have to go to the courthouse, get paperwork, go to the newspaper, have it printed, cut it out, send it to court house etc etc etc...

Needless to say, I blow my stack. For 7 years they have been happily cashing my checks. now they are changing the rules on me. They do not offer to help me out. they do not say, lets do it this last time so you dont have client checks sitting around for 3 months and you go get the certificate. I get NO. And quite rudley I might add.

So, I inform them I will be closing my accounts and storm out! Head to another bank a block away...DO THEY NOT REALIZE THAT THERE ARE BANKS ON EVERY CORNER!...and talk to them. Now I feel better. I was treated very professionally. even though I am dressed like a bum. The VP came over and introduced himself to me and treated me like I was someone. Not a bum.

In this day and age, you would think people would learn. You have no right to treat me as an lesser of a human being for any reason. I EXIST FOR A REASON..I AM IMPORTANT NO MATTER WHAT YOUR OPINIONS ARE! and you just lost 8 accounts! plus my 401K and my husbands IRA thingy. AND YOU THOUGHT I WAS A NOBODY!!!

HAS SUSAN BOYLE TAUGHT US NOTHING???????

Sometimes I HAVE to bend down

Ok...KF, I finally get it. And I sympathize with you 100%

Yesterday while out, I purchased a new pair of pants at Kohls. They have the extra wide elastic but pretty waist band which I find so comfortable. No, I am not a super skinny minny, or even close to that. I get it. So, I get that clothes will not fit me perfectly. I get it.

But COME ON!

Ok..so I purchase these pants. Now let me back up a step and say that I have been watching and hearing my good friend KF complain for years about her pants. Everytime she stood up or, god forbid, bend over...I think you get the picture. (KF, I am sooooo not making fun of you so dont be mad) But, now I get it.

HEY CLOTHING MAKERS. We have hips, we have torsos, some of us have butts, while some don't. Do you think we like bending over to pick up something knowing that our butt cracks are now showing, or in my case, my purple granny underware. Which in my personal opinion, is worse.

Cut us some slack would you. The pants I bought are cute, and they look somewhat ok on me, however, I dont care if my feet are on fire, I WILL NOT bend over in them. Who the hell wants to see my underware...or worse!

Yes, TMZ has made it quite glamourous to see famous peoples butt cracks. 'Can you guess whose thong this is'. I dont want to guess and unless you are a teenage boy or old man, who cares!!!

See, as Moms, we spend 90% of the day bent over (men hush!). For some reason, children, are shorter than us, so all comforting,threatening, bribing, happens down there. We have gravity, everything dropped on the floor, unless you own a dog and its food related, we have to BEND OVER and pick up. Giving a kid a bath, bathtubs are on the floor, children are short, you get the picture. Its bad enough for me to have to stick my giant butt in the air, but then for some poor schmuck to have to see my underware or worse....*shudder*

So, clothing makers, get a grip. Make our pants higher where they should be, for the sake of the public! and cause I think one arm is getting longer than the other from constantly having to pull them back up where they belong! and I'm tired of doing the hip adjust when I pull them back up. You ladies know what I mean..the wiggle the hips back and forth to make them sit where you want...sigh...

Turn off the TV...Forever

I know this happens to coincide with turn off the tv week, but it wasn't planned that way.

Last week I turned off the tv. That is, I suspended the dish in my house. For the record, I have a love hate relationship with the tv. Nothing is ever one, commercials are borderline obscene and obnoxious. I hate most of the choices that the kids have. and it costs to much money. I pay almost $800.00 a year for this stupid box that never has anything on that I want.

Ok...cpet in the winter...Sunday afternoons, you can always find Steel Magnolois!!

So, I shut it OFF. I did provide some concelation. I hooked up the kitchen tv to the internet. Now my kids have been introduced to the likes of the Lone Ranger, Sea Hunt, Rocky and Bulwinkle, Astro Boy, etc etc.

I can watch what I want when I want with no commercials!!

And for my very cranky husband, I bought a dvd player for the bedroom and season 4 of the Simpsons. We fall asleep to The Simpsons every night.

So...how is it going. GREAT! The kids have actually adjusted better than we have. They still have tv, but its much more limited, I still have tv and its what I want when I want it. My husband never watches tv. Although he's pissed that he cannot watch the cubs game.

so last night I put it on the radio so we can listen. What did he do, go upstairs and watch dvd's of Taxi. Lordy!

The kids are spending more time with eachother, cept c1, he's disappeard into his room forever :). The fighting has not gotten better, but its fun to watch them c2 and c3 aruge over Uno.

I never really watched it in the fist place, so there is no change for me.

Ok...so Yes, it is driving me a little nuts. See c3 wont leave me alone. he's always here. Asking for something, messing with the dogs. D2 is buried in blankets right now and he is saying, mom now look at d2, mom now look at d2. So, I miss it as far as I cannot turn it on and go c3, Maggie the Ferecious Beast is on! Cannot get that on the internet that I have found yet.

So, it has been a week and a half. Kids have adjusted, dont miss it. TVT.tv has Saving Grace a week after the episode has aired. But now..its hubby.

Last night he says to me, that's it..I cannot take it, call and have it turned back on(its on a suspension right now, no fee to turn it back on) I look at him like he has grown eight arms. I ask him if he is serious. he says yes. He tried it, he just cannot do it. Did I mention that this man NEVER WATCHES TV. And I mean never. He never sits still long enough to watch tv, that is until i shut it off. NOW ALL HE DOES IS WANT TO WATCH TV.

Are you kidding me!??!!

He never watched tv in the first place. Outside of Cubs and Bears games. and now, that its off, that is all he wants to do and he's ticked that he cannot!

So, I'm annoyed. Oh yes, I would use stronger words, but I dont want my mom to call me and yell at me for cussing again :)

So, do I turn it back on, or make him suffer and get his ass(sorry mom) up and do something, like he used to do. I've only been asking for two years for him to restring the fishsing pools, and for 11 years to make me a corner table.

mabye if I start pulling fishing line apart, he will do it? Sigh....I need to call him to find out if he was serious serious serious...cause you know we have to double double and triple check, but I dont want to cause I wont call and turn it back on. I'll make him do it...but with my luck he will add stupid things that will have nothing on and we will pay through the nose for.

Lousy tv!

Is my kid a looser kid?

I just dont get it. Today...while I am out running around with c3, Hubby calls me saying that c2 is upset because I had promised she could have a sleepover. I informed Hubby that I had talked to c2 and we had agreed that with her bad cold, she would wait until she felt better. Hubby says ok

So, I get home to find two klingons in the house with my daughter. My husband comes and and says he has no idea who they are, but they are friends with c2.

Well..I never expect hubby to know who the kids friends are. He once turned around in the kitchen and found a kid standing there, and asked, who are you. :) In all fairness, I dont expect him to know who any of these kids are. he's at work all day and obviously doesn't listen to the kids telling their days at the dinner table. >:)

So...Hubby proceeds to tell me that the girls are having a sleepover and that their mom said its ok. Ummmmm....I DONT EVEN KNOW THESE KIDS. Let alone their mom. So, their mom said that her two daughters can have a sleep over at a strangers house. Dont think so!

I know all of the parents that my kids hang out with...I know them very very well..Because when they do have a sleepover, I need to know if there are guns in the house, ( we have shotguns, in a gunsafe and any new child coming over I inform the parents of this), do the parents drink heavily with my kids over, what are they allowed to watch...Yes....I know...one cannot know everything about a family. However, I do know the family of c1's friend that drinks and he has been informed what to do should Friend parent start drinking ( call and tell me he doesn't feel good, friends parent is working on recovery) I know that other friend gets to watch movies that my kids wouldn't be allowed to, but friend is the last of the kids, so as those of us with more than two know, the yougest gets away with more :)..

So, I try to get to know friends parents. They have the lives of my children in their hands and visa versa for those dozen or so hours. I want to know that they will be treated with love and care as if they were their own.

So...(stepping off of soapbox...oh wait...never mind) So.. I let them stay and play for a while then shoo them out as C2 has piano lessons(her first lesson) and tell them that C2 will call when we get back.
After lessons, I tell C2 that she has to cancel the sleepover as she is not feeling well, and after some tears and arguing, does that work, she agrees.

So I get home, am informed that C1 is going over to friend (parent drinks but is in recovery) and so, i hop in car and take him over. On the way back, I notice c2 two friends walking down the street in our direction with walmart bags. Nooo...I say to myself..

So I pull over and ask whats up. Well, they were coming over for the sleepover. Ummmmm...Hello??? I said we would call. And I still dont know parent. So, I offer them a ride home, yes they get in the car with a virtual stranger. I pull up and there is mom...she says, oh to early. Ummmmm Hello??? I inform her that its not going to work as C2 is sick. She says ok. Umm hello????? Didn't even introduce herself to me. Does she even know where i live???

So I drive home and now have to figure out how to discourage C2 from hanging with this girl and her sister because it will so NOT ever happen.

I will not allow my children to hang out with looser children. Oh...so dont take offense to this statement! We all know who we are talking about. Its not the kids fault. its the parents. and we all know these kids.

They are the kids out at all hours with no parental supervision ever! They wander the neighborhoods, are always dirty, (different dirt..C3 is so filthy right now) But the dirt that is days and days old. They are crass, almost no manners...And their parents let them go on sleepovers without ever meeting the parents.

So....I wont let my kids hang out with those kids. but...those seem to be the only kids that c2 keeps wanting to hang out with.

Its not for lack of trying. When she was younger, she would call people all of the time from the school phonebook looking for play dates. No one ever and I mean EVER returned her phone calls. No one ever wanted to play. Why? I have no idea? Is she not socialzed enough? Is it because she doesn't play with dolls? She has never gotten into Barbies. Oh well. I tried..I have a $100 dreamhouse in the attic that was never played with.

Does she not have cool enough toys? Tough. I dont believe in buying my kids whatever they want. I dont buy designer clothes for my kids. I will not spend $50.00 on a pair of shoes that they will outgrow in a week or two and they never tie the damn laces.

her teacher doesn't understand it either. She asked me if c2 has any close friends, I said no, and teacher says but she gets along with everybody. She can talk and hang out with an adult or a 2yr old. Or anywhere in between.

So, what is it? She's not cool enough, doesn't have the coolest toys, doesn't go on exotic vacations, isn't spoiled rotten?? So she has to hang out with the looser kids?

Wanted: Playmate for my daughter,
She is a wonderful person, ready to help anyone, asked or not. She knits, she croches, she cross stitches. She can shoot a great basketball. She can swim like a fish and loves to jump off the boat into the water. She is the best bass fisherman (woman) in our family. She jumped two grades in reading, gets herself up and ready in the morning before I am even out of bed. Loves to go camping, loves to go hiking, loves to ride her bike! She plays a mean game of ice hockey. She can talk to anyone, loves to talk on the phone. Loves to have her nails done. Loves to have her hair done, Loves to dress pretty.
Requirements. Someone who just loves to play and be themselves. Someone with responsible parents.

So...Am I asking to much? Why do I have to ask at all. Why do I have to find a playmate for my daughter. Why does she have to be so lonely?