New Years Resolutions

For some reason, now is the time we think about, write down, report on and generally reflect on our life gone wrong up to this point. Personally, I dont do this. At least I dont think I do. I would have to check last years posts to see if I did.

If I loved alone, a solitary life, it would be easier to tell myself what to do to make myself happy, to make my life better.

Obviously I dont. My happiness is not in my hands, well not solely in my hands anyway. My happiness rests in the hands of others and I am not alone. Unless you live in a cave and have no contact with people or any elements at all, your happiness rests in the hands of others.

So...my new years resolutions are as follows:

Dear Hubby,

(mom skip this part) They are mine, they are not yours. They may be fun, but they are mine, so please leave them alone when I am in the kitchen trying to clean up after dinner, exhausted and annoyed. You will only get a negative reaction if you do say hi in this manner. Want to turn me on, grab a mop and mop something, but only if you can do it quietly. Do not clean the basement and talk loudly about what is down there and why. Just pick it up. Do that and I'm libel to....oops... mom probably reading this even though I said not to.
And please do NOT after having cleaned or picked up a section of this house, come and announce it like you just single handley clead up a toxic waste dump. Let me be surprised. Announcing it makes me want to smack you. I clean up all day long, several times a day. Should I call you and say 'hubby, I just cleaned the bathroom'!

C1. Shower. Just take a shower. Do not argue with me, just shower. Change your underwear once in a while. You are to old for me to ask if you did. How bout this...Dont argue at all. If I ask you do to something, just do it. I am a much nicer mom if you just say sure mom and do it. Its not like I'm asking you to build a shed or walk two miles up hill both ways through snow this deep to buy a stick of butter.

C2. Stop yelling at C3. You are going to give him a complex. C2. Go play. Please stop wandering around the house bored. You have toys, go play with them.

C3. Stop bugging C2 and C1. I know what you are doing. I know you are simply there to bug them. I get it, they dont. So cut it out. You are giving me a permanent headache.

C1, C2, C3. Please stop arguing with each other or me. If I say stop, then stop. If I say go, then go. Please note the permanent headache thing.

Thats it. Simple, sweet and to the point. I know what to do on a daily basis to keep myself happy. It varies from day to day, as it does for most people. One day it may be Ben and Jerry's and a spoon. Another day it may be knitting with friends, or playing a board game with the kids. It is actually very simple. It is very easy for me to be happy. Just ask the girls after we have done a monster workout. They hate that I am bubbly and happy and dying at the same time !

But, it is 95% out of my hands. So rather than resolving to make myself happy, I am asking the people who have the most influence over my life, to behave, to be nice, to allow me to be on my happy road with no detours.

A little scary

So, I did something a little scary today...I signed up C1 for Baseball. Now to most people this would not be scary...to me it is. It is his first time playing ball. He's 12. I am scared for him, not about him getting hurt..but for the pain he will probably feel being the first time he has ever played organized ball. The pain of realizing he sucks. No gasping here folks. all of our kids suck at one thing or another. The pain of knowing that all of these boys know what the heck they are doing and he doesn't. The pain of knowing that they will probably make fun of him and it will hurt. He will feel the pain, and I will feel his pain, only tenfold.

We were all teased as kids, picked on, ridiculed for our clothes or shoes or what our parents did or if we only had one tv or still had a rotary phone. And we may or may not remember how it felt. I know I dont fully remember. I do remember that I didn't give a damn what people thought about me. Still dont to this day. I am who I am, love me or leave me, its your loss or gain. >:)

It pains me so much to hear him complain about kids at school picking on him, teasing him, calling him names. As much as it hurts him, it makes me want to cry. How could someone pick on my baby. The boy who helps strangers and neighbors alike. He once got $20 for cutting someones grass. He had to bank half and gave the other half to the lions club. He is an amazing artist, can play any instrument he picks up, has a huge heart, can build the most amazing lego creations. he is an awesome kid. Yes, I know, I am biased. Yes, he's amazing, but this morning I had to bite my tongue to not call him stupid to his face! No gasping here either...we've all wanted to do it in the heat of the moment when they do something so STUPID!

I dont want him to feel pain, but by not protecting him from it am I making him a better person?

For the record, I did sign up for for a camp so he can learn to catch the ball :)