Top things to do to make mom HAPPY

All we really want is peace and quiet and and happy. Is that really so much to ask. Apparently it is.

So..here is my list of things to do to make me happy

DO NOT ARGUE WITH ME THE SECOND YOU WALK IN THE DOOR. (at least take your jacket off first)

NO MEANS NO. Stomping up and down, flailing your arms, does that do anything?, and whining will not make me say yes.

If you are sitting in the chair because I am ready to strangle you, do not repeat, mom can I get up now 100 times.

Yes..the above three just happened about 5 minutes ago, in that order!

If I am on the phone, do not come and ask me stupid questions. I hate doing the damnit i'm on the phone dance. Dont pretend you dont know what I'm talking about. Its where we throw our one free arm up and down while stamping our feet to get them to shut up and go away.

DO NOT PUT ANYTHING IN THE TOILET THAT DOES NOT COME OUT OF YOUR BODY.
I dont think that needs any explaniation.

He's actually asking me yet again if he can get up and then sighing loudly. WHATEVER DUDE.

if you have had a bad day at school, please do not get in the car and start by saying, I dont want to talk about it, but then yell at everyone in the car. That privilage, of punishing the innocent cause you are in a bad mood, is reserved for parents only!

LAUNDRY BASKETS ARE FOR DIRTY LAUNDRY! my husband is even guilty of this one...like opening the freaking closet door to put the socks in would be so much trouble. You are right, its extra work, leave them outside of the closed door!

Lift to pee, put it down when you are done and THE BATHTUB IS NOT FOR PEEING!

Dont ask, 'why are you not listening to me' I can hear you..I am choosing to ignore you and no you cannot get up yet.

DONT ASK WHY!!!!!

DONT CALL 911. especially if the house is a mess and I have not showered yet!

Ok...its somewhat quiet again. Which means I dont know where any, well I do know where one of child is, sighing heavily behind me still sitting, but the rest of the kids are blissfully quiet. Which means that they are zoned out to the television. Guilty mom feeling yes, gonna do anything about it? NOOOOOO!!!!!!