Growing up, we all make promises to ourselves. When we are young we promise ourselves we will be a lawyer, a doctor or a teacher. We tell ourselves we will make a difference in the world, we will not just exist...we will be some one, do something, change the world.
We get older and realize that change is not as easy as it sounds. We, in actuality can only change our small part of the world. in a sense, ourselves. and in reality, there is very little we have control over.
Past: When my children were babies, I promised to love them no matter what they do or become. I held their hands when we walked, taught them how to live. Now I realize that the day they walked without holding my hand, is the day that I lost them forever, they will never walk and hold my hand again. That is until the day comes that they need to help me and hold me to keep me from falling.
Current: I promise not to mortify them in front of their friends. To allow them their freedom in the neighborhood, no matter how much I worry, and pray that they dont do something stupid! I promise, or try to have the cool house. the one that they all want to come over to. (right now I wish I had more to eat in my kitchen as they are all scavenging with their friends for food) I will allow sleepovers no matter how tired I am. I will try not to say no to everything just cause I am tired. I will keep my invisible leash really really loose unless I am forced to yank them back for stupidity. Lets face it, they will do something stupid. (jumping off the shed roof into the pool comes to mind) I will not want to kill them when I ask why they did something stupid and they reply, I dont know. (I'm really really sorry mom, I really dont know why!)
Future: I promise not to tell their wives/husbands the right way to do something. I will try really really hard not to tell them they are raising their kids wrong. If they move across the country, I will be supportive while crying on the inside. I will visit but not for to long. I WILL NOT go to visit for a month and stay with them. I will never rearrange their kitchen cabinets! (no mom, this is not about you, you never did that) I will not say, I wish you would call more often, or call you every single day. I mean really!
When I am older, much older, and I have to give up my car, I will do it without question. I will try to remember that I dont want to kill a family because I am pigheadded. (is that even a word)
Should I need to leave my house forever, I will do it with dignity and pride. I will not do it kicking and screaming! I will welcome the help offered to me. I will be grateful that someone cares! I will be sad, and I will express that, but I will not be an ASS!
We all say, we will not be a burden on our kids, but I know that that is not possible. At least I hope I will live old enough to be a burden! When I do become a burden, I hope and pray that I have raised them with enough love and caring that they will not abandon me because they are to busy. That they will remember when I was tired, but drove them to a friends house anyway. When I skipped my knitting groups, because they had baseball or softball or basketball, or music concerts or anything at all. When I left a friends house because they were upset about a girl or boy and needed to talk.
I promise to grow old with dignity and pray I will maintain my common sense. I will NEVER allow my house to smell like old lady house and if it does PLEASE, SOMEONE TELL ME! (no mom, your house does not smell like old lady house, goodness you are awfully self conscious)
Hubby and I always joke that we need to be nice to our kids because they are going to choose the home we are going to be stuck in when we are old. Boy, if that isn't the truth!
When I am old and gray, and cranky and whining, please if this blog still exists, someone reprint this and enlarge it so I can read it. and make me read it!
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