Today I dropped c2 off at a friends house. it is one of the bigger houses in town. Actually, when you cross the street by us, the houses jump in size and tax bracket. We live on the older side of town. The old houses, with the full grown trees! the beautiful streets lined with Full Grown Trees. My house was built in 1972. It has a one car garage. It is a tri level. it is not big enough for my family...but is it? Growing up didn't we all share a room with a sibling? Didn't we all have to fight over the bathroom, or the one tv. My boys share a room. They will share a room until one of them moves out. My grandparents shared beds with their siblings. BEDS! We always said that my grandmother had such wonderful skin because she slept on her back her entire life. Mainly, because growing up and sharing a bed with two yes TWO other sisters, she learned not to move. My dad and his brother shared a bed until my dad went to college.
So...my boys share a room. We all share one full bathroom. I know it will get crazy when they are older and need face time with themselves :) We dont have a basement. We have creative storage. We dont have a formal dining room. We have a kitchen table. Granted it seats 10 which I love, but no formal dining room. Hell, who uses it anyway! I dont even have a living room...oh wait..maybe I do. The downstairs is the family room, where the family never gathers..the upstairs has a couch and two chairs almost on top of the giant kitchen table. I would say, the three separate areas of my first floor, kitchen, eating area, living room are smaller than the local gas station convience store. My house is small by todays standards. But, its cozy? Comfy? well loved, and lived.
I keep it clean, as much as I care to :) (sorry mom), I keep it updated as much as I can afford to. you would be amazed at the things you can find at second hand stores! I love my house. yes, its loud..crowded at times, to small most of the time, and there are things I might do to it if I could, but I love my house.
I do feel overshadowed by some of my children's friends. The ones that live in the 350K homes, the ones that live in the million dollar plus homes. You know the ones, The brick homes that are to big. That have the valuted ceilings.
Do I even have a point here? I dont know. Why do I feel intimidated by someone elses good fortune? Wait, intimidated is not the word. Jealous? I dont think so? Inadequate? Maybe? Not sure.
What is a home vrs what is a house? My brother has moved from house to house, but does he have a home? Is his current house home? My sister has finally found a home. Do people who live in, vaulted ceilings, triple the tax bill, complaining about the cost of heating and cooling, sparsley decorated, have a home or a house? Why have the beautiful outside if you cannot afford to have an inside?
Why is having huge houses with so many rooms that you dont know where your kids are or what they are doing, better than having your kids sleeping in the same room, learning to get along, to deal with the daily intrusion into their lives?
Why do the kids have tv's in their bedrooms, next to their computes. Why dont we want to be around them. We seem to be creating ways to get rid of them, to keep them out of the family part of the house?
What happened to going on drives and making up games. Now we drive to walmart and put a movie in for the five minute drive. Why dont we want to hear them. Why dont we want them interacting with eachother. dont get me wrong...C2 complained the other day that c3 was breathing his air in the car. But...isn't that part of growing up and learning to deal.
They no longer have to live with eacother. They co exist. Pass each other on the way to the fridge. We are building giant houses so that we cannot find each other. We dont konw what is going on in our own houses. We give our kids unlimited access to tv with a zillion channels and never check what they are watching. We put comptuers in their rooms with unlimited access to the most horrible, scary, abusive, dangerous things/people out there.
Why do we want them to go away..to be quiet, to not fight, to not learn to live, to get along, to compromise?
So, I do sometimes feel intimidated by someone elses house, by the quiet because the kids are all in their own worlds not communicating with the rest of the their family. Jealous even, of the quiet....cause as a mom, isn't that all we really want, is quiet...but Isn't it just as important for us to be quiet and listen to our kids.
Stop hiding them from eachother, let them fight, argue, and learn.
I wonder, some of the greatest minds are our generation or our parents generation. Computers, cell phones, technology in general. Did Jobs or Gates share a room with a sibling, or a bathroom with the family. My god..how did they survive with only one tv in the house.
What are we taking away from our kids by giving them so much? Stop hiding and start dealing, teaching, guiding. Just keep the advil handy :)
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