Again, most of the evening after the fire is a blur. I am trying to remember bits and pieces but I just cant seem to.
its like the game boggle. You shake things up and put it down and try to make sense out of the jumbles. I only come up with 3 letter words, never more. Same thing here..I can remember small pieces, but never more.
Did I mention that the bird survived? The firemen brought him out. He was bouncing around the bottom of the cage for a minute or two but perked right up. He was hanging downstairs in the family room. If he had been in the boys room he would have died. C1 was thrilled!
I did find out later that hubby asked BGJr, I went to college with him, to look for C2's cat. That if the cat did not survive they were not to bring him out. BGJr took two men with him and headed in. C2 was sitting on the sidewalk crying, asking about her cat. I had told her, I think, that cats are very very good at hiding and surviving. After a bit, the bring the cat out. He was hiding behind my bed. I figured that out the next ?day? when it was light out and we went inside...my bed was pulled out and in the center of the room. It took me a minute, but I realized why. He's ok. They put him in hubbies car. We didn't know what else to do with him.
G's take the other two kids as the oldest has already left. Fire man takes hubby and me into the house. Most of the neighbors have gone back home as some of the fire trucks have left and there is no more true excitement.
Hubby and I go inside. I'm not sure there are really words to describe what we see. Besides the obvious darkness as by now the power has been shut off, the air is thick with smoke and this god awful stench. Its hot, humid, dark, dank....i'm not sure there are enough descriptive words to explain it. We start to go upstairs and I stop. The firemen are still putting out hot spots in the garage and it is now raining on my dining room table. (un salvageable) I did find it rather odd that it was raining inside my house. Slightly comical. Hubby stops and comes back down and I pointed it out to him, look, its raining in the dining room!
Now, this is all I remember of the tour of the house. We go upstairs and I think, Thank you mother nature, I need to grab my box. I enter the bathroom and go to grab them, and fireman says, NO! You can take nothing out of here. Its not safe. I think...oh crap...I turn to leave the bathroom and grab my contacts. I turn to him and say, these I am taking. I must have had a look on my face as he didn't say another word.
Honestly, that is all I remember about the house tour.
We are now back outside..Oh...did I mention I was grilled by about 4 different firemen! Each asking about the fire pit or did I have candles burning. Oh...So I'm in the backyard, I dont know if its before or after the tour of the house, and I look at the fire pit where sitting on the edge is a melted bottle of something and its smoking..I turn to fireman and say, what is ....then I grabbed his arm and say something like OMG! He turns and says , 'what what! I tell him that the smoking bottle is muratic acid, then I remembered...theres a glass bottle of sulfuric acid in the garage...by where the fire was eating everything. Fireman takes off towards the garage.
Why did we have a bottle of sulfuric acid in the garage you are wondering.....When we cleaned out His Dad's place a couple of weeks earlier, this was in the basement. We didn't know what to do with it, so we brought it to our place and put it in our garage until we could ask , wait for it....the fire department, what to do with it! We figured they deal with hazardous chemicals, the would know.
By now I have to go potty. I cannot go into the house again, they have giant fans trying to suck the ick out of my house, and its dark and nasty.
I go to JKF house. We chat for a minute, then I head back home. Its dark. Not just dark, but DARK. The firemen have rolled up their hoses, unplugged their lights and left. Its DARK. I call out to hubby..just so I can find my way. We walk back to the front of the house and stand there, alone in the dark.
Everyone has gone home. The firemen finally had brought out some pants for hubby and his shoes wallet and keys..he's standing there dressed, I'm in my jammies, no bra. We stand there alone, in the dark, looking at our house...what was left of our house, utterly alone. Lost, scared, clueless. We had no where to go....we didn't know if we should go somewhere, should we stay?
Now what?
Up Next..Part 5 Why Walmart???
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Monday, September 10, 2012
Part 3...The Phone Calls
I had to make three phone calls that morning. Please keep in mind that by the word morning, I mean 1:30am.
The first was to my parents. I can tell you, that was the hardest call I have ever had to make in my life. I pray that I never have to ever, do that again.
I call my folks' house phone as I figured that they wouldn't have their cell phones in their bedroom.
Dad Answers. I say, "WE ARE SAFE" three times. Dad wakes up. He says what's the matter. This is the first time I break down. I choke out, my house is on fire, BUT WE ARE SAFE, I need you.
Now my dad is a man of few words. I like that about him, especially that night. He say's "we are on our way" and hangs up. Perfect.
I find out later that he jumps out of bed and starts getting dressed. Mom sits up saying, what whats wrong, where are you going. I didn't ask dad what he said to mom or her reaction. That was just an image I still dont want in my head. I actually dont even think about it. As I am typing this, I have pushed it out of my head. I dont want to know.
Now, may parents may be a little older than me :) I am so being nice here, but they can fly when they want to. I once checked their gps after one of their little trips to visit my sister, and the max speed was 102. They both blamed eachother.
According to my parents, they broke every single traffic law know to man on the way to my house. Mom would look one way at a red light, dad would look the other and they would just go. I am guessing they were going about 80 down Route 14.
Second call. And I dont remember if my folks, I usually refer to them as The G's, for future reference, were there yet? There was quite a bit of wandering around on my part? At least that is how it felt. Trapped in a bubble, wandering almost in circles, not knowing what to do with myself?
We, people in general, usually have some control in our lives. We get up, do our stuff, live our lives. That morning I had no control over anything. I could only wander around in circles, in my jammies. no control, totally and utterly helpless.
Anyway..second call. I have already written about. C1 was due to leave at 4am on a bus to go to Boundry Waters. it was supposed to be a wonderful canoe trip for the boys and their adult leaders.
Second call...To one of the leaders going on the trip. SR. A good friend I have know for 8years? give or take.
Boy am I glad that she answered the phone and not her hubby. How in the world would I do that one. Um...Hi M, is S there? At 2am. How odd. Anyway...I tell her, I am very sorry but I dont know if C1 is going to be able to go on this trip. See the problem is that on these trips, you cannot have someone drop out at the last minute unless a death or house fire occurs. They have everything planned down to the last detail. They have giant packs to carry, canoes to portage, etc etc. You cannot be down a man. So anway, I continue. I tell her, There is no easy way to say this, but my house is fire. His gear is in the living room, and well, my house is on fire. I dont know if its ok.
She asks if I need anything. I reply, S, I am standing here with my cell phone in my jammies. I will call you back.
I do remember at one point having to tell C1 that his bird might not survive. C1 has been a huge bird fan since he was a little kid. and I do mean huge. Ask him about any kind of bird and he will tell you all about, it. I bought him this one for his Bday. I was hand raised and hand fed. It was a beautiful bird, very friendly, well, was friendly until the cat almost ate him twice. then he became a little cranky. So I tell C1 and he says, I know Mom. Sigh...
Then I call JKF. someone has to take these dogs. She has three dogs, and does greyhound rescue. I know she will take them. Problem is, there is never a phone upstairs, but, oddly enough, one of the portables was upstairs. Hubby answers. He says I was very matter of fact. Very even keel.
Well, I think i was. I had to stand strong in front of my kids. If I fell to pieces, so would they. I stayed strong and so did they. There was only a little crying but nothing hysterical. That was a good thing.
So, I tell him that we had a little house fire and I needed him to come and get my dogs, bring leashes cause I dont have any. He says ok. Now, he wasn't even going to wake K. He was just going to come, but she heard the phone and asked whats up. Again, I didn't ask her what he said or her reaction. I dont want to know the type of panic we caused the ones we love.
Now, I have no idea what time it is now. Not that it matters. I actually think that the G's got there before JKF came to get the dogs? Not sure.
So, G's show up. That was hard. Mom told my brother that she ran down the street. My brother stopped her and said, wait....you ran??!? I did clarify that later. and I love you mom, that it was more like one of those cartoon characters where the feet are moving really really fast. It was kinda funny.
She found me first, or I found them first, and I got the biggest hug I think I've gotten since I announced that they were going to be grandparents. I think she cried then too. Then its a blur again...
KF and hubby show up and hubby leaves with Dogs. I notice KF looking around for me and I yell to her...then its a blur.
at some point, I think before everyone shows up, I happen to look down the street and see my friend L walking towards me. I find that odd since she lives several blocks down...how could she see the fire from her house. She comes and gives me a giant hug. See, turns out that one of the boys that saved our lives txted her daughter and said, your not going to believe what we did. Tells her, so L says well where on my street? Cause she's to far down to see it. Boy txts back that he's standing out front helping hold two big dogs. With that L runs out of the house and down the street. I do find it odd that she ran down the two giant blocks rather than driving...would have been faster to drive.
Now things are very very very hectic...crazy, nuts...fast, slow, confused. C1's gear is found and he says he wants to go. He can't do anything here. So SR comes and gets him. I find it kinda funny too, that she showed up in her bare feet. She had time to find shoes :)
Boy that was hard. watching C1 leave. Scary, hard. Actually, hard to put into words kind of hard. We would have no phone contact for about 7 days. Would he be ok? Did he have all of his gear? would he have nightmares? Daymares? You remember when you dropped your oldest off at their first day of preschool...you wanted to grab them back and shout, no you are not ready yet(or was that just me). this was how I felt but 1000x worse. I didn't want to split the family up but there he went down the sidewalk.
Now its blurry again...snippets here and there but there is no order to those snippets. Its like doing the dishes while watching a movie. You only catch bits and pieces of it and then get very lost in the movie.
The younger two left with my parents. I dont remember them leaving. I know I gave them hugs and hugs and hugs...but I dont remember them leaving..
wow...how scattered is this post....this is exactly how it felt, still feels...scattered, insane, blurry, scary, surreal.....
Part 4.....They found the cat, and our trip to Walmart
The first was to my parents. I can tell you, that was the hardest call I have ever had to make in my life. I pray that I never have to ever, do that again.
I call my folks' house phone as I figured that they wouldn't have their cell phones in their bedroom.
Dad Answers. I say, "WE ARE SAFE" three times. Dad wakes up. He says what's the matter. This is the first time I break down. I choke out, my house is on fire, BUT WE ARE SAFE, I need you.
Now my dad is a man of few words. I like that about him, especially that night. He say's "we are on our way" and hangs up. Perfect.
I find out later that he jumps out of bed and starts getting dressed. Mom sits up saying, what whats wrong, where are you going. I didn't ask dad what he said to mom or her reaction. That was just an image I still dont want in my head. I actually dont even think about it. As I am typing this, I have pushed it out of my head. I dont want to know.
Now, may parents may be a little older than me :) I am so being nice here, but they can fly when they want to. I once checked their gps after one of their little trips to visit my sister, and the max speed was 102. They both blamed eachother.
According to my parents, they broke every single traffic law know to man on the way to my house. Mom would look one way at a red light, dad would look the other and they would just go. I am guessing they were going about 80 down Route 14.
Second call. And I dont remember if my folks, I usually refer to them as The G's, for future reference, were there yet? There was quite a bit of wandering around on my part? At least that is how it felt. Trapped in a bubble, wandering almost in circles, not knowing what to do with myself?
We, people in general, usually have some control in our lives. We get up, do our stuff, live our lives. That morning I had no control over anything. I could only wander around in circles, in my jammies. no control, totally and utterly helpless.
Anyway..second call. I have already written about. C1 was due to leave at 4am on a bus to go to Boundry Waters. it was supposed to be a wonderful canoe trip for the boys and their adult leaders.
Second call...To one of the leaders going on the trip. SR. A good friend I have know for 8years? give or take.
Boy am I glad that she answered the phone and not her hubby. How in the world would I do that one. Um...Hi M, is S there? At 2am. How odd. Anyway...I tell her, I am very sorry but I dont know if C1 is going to be able to go on this trip. See the problem is that on these trips, you cannot have someone drop out at the last minute unless a death or house fire occurs. They have everything planned down to the last detail. They have giant packs to carry, canoes to portage, etc etc. You cannot be down a man. So anway, I continue. I tell her, There is no easy way to say this, but my house is fire. His gear is in the living room, and well, my house is on fire. I dont know if its ok.
She asks if I need anything. I reply, S, I am standing here with my cell phone in my jammies. I will call you back.
I do remember at one point having to tell C1 that his bird might not survive. C1 has been a huge bird fan since he was a little kid. and I do mean huge. Ask him about any kind of bird and he will tell you all about, it. I bought him this one for his Bday. I was hand raised and hand fed. It was a beautiful bird, very friendly, well, was friendly until the cat almost ate him twice. then he became a little cranky. So I tell C1 and he says, I know Mom. Sigh...
Then I call JKF. someone has to take these dogs. She has three dogs, and does greyhound rescue. I know she will take them. Problem is, there is never a phone upstairs, but, oddly enough, one of the portables was upstairs. Hubby answers. He says I was very matter of fact. Very even keel.
Well, I think i was. I had to stand strong in front of my kids. If I fell to pieces, so would they. I stayed strong and so did they. There was only a little crying but nothing hysterical. That was a good thing.
So, I tell him that we had a little house fire and I needed him to come and get my dogs, bring leashes cause I dont have any. He says ok. Now, he wasn't even going to wake K. He was just going to come, but she heard the phone and asked whats up. Again, I didn't ask her what he said or her reaction. I dont want to know the type of panic we caused the ones we love.
Now, I have no idea what time it is now. Not that it matters. I actually think that the G's got there before JKF came to get the dogs? Not sure.
So, G's show up. That was hard. Mom told my brother that she ran down the street. My brother stopped her and said, wait....you ran??!? I did clarify that later. and I love you mom, that it was more like one of those cartoon characters where the feet are moving really really fast. It was kinda funny.
She found me first, or I found them first, and I got the biggest hug I think I've gotten since I announced that they were going to be grandparents. I think she cried then too. Then its a blur again...
KF and hubby show up and hubby leaves with Dogs. I notice KF looking around for me and I yell to her...then its a blur.
at some point, I think before everyone shows up, I happen to look down the street and see my friend L walking towards me. I find that odd since she lives several blocks down...how could she see the fire from her house. She comes and gives me a giant hug. See, turns out that one of the boys that saved our lives txted her daughter and said, your not going to believe what we did. Tells her, so L says well where on my street? Cause she's to far down to see it. Boy txts back that he's standing out front helping hold two big dogs. With that L runs out of the house and down the street. I do find it odd that she ran down the two giant blocks rather than driving...would have been faster to drive.
Now things are very very very hectic...crazy, nuts...fast, slow, confused. C1's gear is found and he says he wants to go. He can't do anything here. So SR comes and gets him. I find it kinda funny too, that she showed up in her bare feet. She had time to find shoes :)
Boy that was hard. watching C1 leave. Scary, hard. Actually, hard to put into words kind of hard. We would have no phone contact for about 7 days. Would he be ok? Did he have all of his gear? would he have nightmares? Daymares? You remember when you dropped your oldest off at their first day of preschool...you wanted to grab them back and shout, no you are not ready yet(or was that just me). this was how I felt but 1000x worse. I didn't want to split the family up but there he went down the sidewalk.
Now its blurry again...snippets here and there but there is no order to those snippets. Its like doing the dishes while watching a movie. You only catch bits and pieces of it and then get very lost in the movie.
The younger two left with my parents. I dont remember them leaving. I know I gave them hugs and hugs and hugs...but I dont remember them leaving..
wow...how scattered is this post....this is exactly how it felt, still feels...scattered, insane, blurry, scary, surreal.....
Part 4.....They found the cat, and our trip to Walmart
Part 2....An impromptu block party
We left off we me in the doorway trying to figure out why the smoke coming into my house wasn't black and why it looked like cotton candy :)
Oddly enough...I dont remember running across the street. I actually remember seeing my family run across the street...in silhouette form...like some kind of movie? I wasn't running with them but kind of standing off to the side watching everyone scamper. Isn't that odd?
So, now we are across the street...I actually think I was in that group, because I had a handle on a dog...That is I had my hands wrapped around Coopers collar and was half walking him on his back legs, half following him as he dragged me. He was as confused and panicky as the rest of us.
We get across the street as two squad cars come flying and I do mean FLYING down our street. They fly past us and momentarily I think, really, how could you miss it...and they spin around in the intersection. I yell to C2, Hold Him, and hand cooper off and start running towards the officers yelling, 'we are out, we are out'. I point to the house next to us, screaming, there is a family in there, get them out....the other house next to us is vacant!. I couldn't bear the thought of someone getting hurt trying to make sure we are out, or breaking into my neighbors house that is empty.
**I find out a week or two later... My neighbor at the corner BG works for the Fire Dept. And oddly enough, their house had burned two years ago. I wonder if its our street. So...He was not on duty that night but hears his radio go off for our street. They both jump out of bed and CG opens the shutters on the window and looks out..she says, it was like looking at the sun. The entire bedroom lite up. She turned to her hubby and started yelling that it was the M's house... BG calls in the correct address. The boys were off by one number, but according to the Police, you could see it from half a mile away. BG yells at CG to see if we are coming out of the house. Can you just imagine the panic that he must have felt? Its his job to save people. He's getting dressed, his neighbors house is on fire, its the middle of the night, HE KNOWS US. its not a strangers house he's going to. Its not a routine fire...I went to college with his kids! They have know our children and held them as newborns! This is personal! As CG opens the door to look for us, her cell phone goes off. Her daughter S, and I lived across from eachother in the dorm at college! Her hubby is a police officer in a different town, but heard the call. He calls S, she txts Mom. CG says, its my house...but at that moment sees us running across the street. Tells S that we are safe, tells BG that we are safe, BG radios fire company, family appears to be out. I dont even remember seeing her outside or him running over!
Me and kids are standing in front of neighbors house. I grab each kid...look at them...actually, can you believe I dont remember that either. I know I grabbed C2 by the face and looked in her eyes...I'm sure I said something...but i have no idea what. I wish I could remember, I wish I KNEW beyond a shadow of a doubt that I said something wonderful and motherly and inspirational to each child...but I just cannot remember.
I dont remember the fire trucks pulling up. Isn't that odd? I just realized that now. I didn't see them pull up. there were 12 of them for God's Sake! How could I miss them. They were staged down to the power lines, and around the corner! There was a ambulance in my neighbors driveway across from my house and the big hook and ladder was directly in front of my house, trying to raise up the ladder. (trees were to big, so they couldn't use it) Every fire truck my town has plus two from surrounding areas were there...and I dont even remember them pulling up! I wonder what I was doing...
Oh wait...I took a couple of pictures. OF COURSE I DID! We were safe, we were out, we were standing there....what else would I do! I just hope I comforted my children before I took pictures! I wish I had taken pictures of the fire trucks!
I remember asking my neighbors for a glass of water. I remember that as clear as day. I felt like I had been walking through a desert for a year. I was so parched! Bless their hearts. They gave me water and gave my boys shirts. Someone gave my husband a sheet. Personally, I think it was a dream come true. Who doesn't dream about prancing around in front of their house in the middle of the night in a t-shirt and underwear! :)
I specifically remember pulling my hands through my hair, standing in LE driveway, away from the kids, standing there either saying outloud or in my head, this is a dream, this cannot happen to us, this is not real...why is this happening..how could this happen...please let me wake up......
At one point, I grabbed C2 and the dogs and started walking them towards JKF's house...but only made it to the corner of my block before I felt that I just could not leave....I dont know when that was...but I remember doing it.
I do remember that the kids who saved our lives....standing there with my kids, holding my dogs. I hope they were comforting to my children...I pray they were kind and caring...They were there forever helping C2 hold the dogs. Bless them!
I remember constantly looking at LE's front door. She is my darling neighbor across the street. She is 90. We keep an eye on each other. I keep looking for her lights to come on. I want to be able to run to her, to tell her we are ok. To re assure her that we are fine. Please dont be scared, we are ok. Eventually, she does come to the door. Neighbor behind her calls because she sees the lights. Her son is a fireman at my house right now. She wants to make sure that LE is ok, that they trucks are not there for her. I see LE at the door, I run to her and tell her we are ok...I reassure her, tell her to go sit down, to be careful not to trip and fall. I re assure her, trying to reassure myself at the same time.
Part III next...the phone calls.
I have realized that this is mentally and emotionally exhausting...I'm going to go game for a bit. :0
Oddly enough...I dont remember running across the street. I actually remember seeing my family run across the street...in silhouette form...like some kind of movie? I wasn't running with them but kind of standing off to the side watching everyone scamper. Isn't that odd?
So, now we are across the street...I actually think I was in that group, because I had a handle on a dog...That is I had my hands wrapped around Coopers collar and was half walking him on his back legs, half following him as he dragged me. He was as confused and panicky as the rest of us.
We get across the street as two squad cars come flying and I do mean FLYING down our street. They fly past us and momentarily I think, really, how could you miss it...and they spin around in the intersection. I yell to C2, Hold Him, and hand cooper off and start running towards the officers yelling, 'we are out, we are out'. I point to the house next to us, screaming, there is a family in there, get them out....the other house next to us is vacant!. I couldn't bear the thought of someone getting hurt trying to make sure we are out, or breaking into my neighbors house that is empty.
**I find out a week or two later... My neighbor at the corner BG works for the Fire Dept. And oddly enough, their house had burned two years ago. I wonder if its our street. So...He was not on duty that night but hears his radio go off for our street. They both jump out of bed and CG opens the shutters on the window and looks out..she says, it was like looking at the sun. The entire bedroom lite up. She turned to her hubby and started yelling that it was the M's house... BG calls in the correct address. The boys were off by one number, but according to the Police, you could see it from half a mile away. BG yells at CG to see if we are coming out of the house. Can you just imagine the panic that he must have felt? Its his job to save people. He's getting dressed, his neighbors house is on fire, its the middle of the night, HE KNOWS US. its not a strangers house he's going to. Its not a routine fire...I went to college with his kids! They have know our children and held them as newborns! This is personal! As CG opens the door to look for us, her cell phone goes off. Her daughter S, and I lived across from eachother in the dorm at college! Her hubby is a police officer in a different town, but heard the call. He calls S, she txts Mom. CG says, its my house...but at that moment sees us running across the street. Tells S that we are safe, tells BG that we are safe, BG radios fire company, family appears to be out. I dont even remember seeing her outside or him running over!
Me and kids are standing in front of neighbors house. I grab each kid...look at them...actually, can you believe I dont remember that either. I know I grabbed C2 by the face and looked in her eyes...I'm sure I said something...but i have no idea what. I wish I could remember, I wish I KNEW beyond a shadow of a doubt that I said something wonderful and motherly and inspirational to each child...but I just cannot remember.
I dont remember the fire trucks pulling up. Isn't that odd? I just realized that now. I didn't see them pull up. there were 12 of them for God's Sake! How could I miss them. They were staged down to the power lines, and around the corner! There was a ambulance in my neighbors driveway across from my house and the big hook and ladder was directly in front of my house, trying to raise up the ladder. (trees were to big, so they couldn't use it) Every fire truck my town has plus two from surrounding areas were there...and I dont even remember them pulling up! I wonder what I was doing...
Oh wait...I took a couple of pictures. OF COURSE I DID! We were safe, we were out, we were standing there....what else would I do! I just hope I comforted my children before I took pictures! I wish I had taken pictures of the fire trucks!
I remember asking my neighbors for a glass of water. I remember that as clear as day. I felt like I had been walking through a desert for a year. I was so parched! Bless their hearts. They gave me water and gave my boys shirts. Someone gave my husband a sheet. Personally, I think it was a dream come true. Who doesn't dream about prancing around in front of their house in the middle of the night in a t-shirt and underwear! :)
I specifically remember pulling my hands through my hair, standing in LE driveway, away from the kids, standing there either saying outloud or in my head, this is a dream, this cannot happen to us, this is not real...why is this happening..how could this happen...please let me wake up......
At one point, I grabbed C2 and the dogs and started walking them towards JKF's house...but only made it to the corner of my block before I felt that I just could not leave....I dont know when that was...but I remember doing it.
I do remember that the kids who saved our lives....standing there with my kids, holding my dogs. I hope they were comforting to my children...I pray they were kind and caring...They were there forever helping C2 hold the dogs. Bless them!
I remember constantly looking at LE's front door. She is my darling neighbor across the street. She is 90. We keep an eye on each other. I keep looking for her lights to come on. I want to be able to run to her, to tell her we are ok. To re assure her that we are fine. Please dont be scared, we are ok. Eventually, she does come to the door. Neighbor behind her calls because she sees the lights. Her son is a fireman at my house right now. She wants to make sure that LE is ok, that they trucks are not there for her. I see LE at the door, I run to her and tell her we are ok...I reassure her, tell her to go sit down, to be careful not to trip and fall. I re assure her, trying to reassure myself at the same time.
Part III next...the phone calls.
I have realized that this is mentally and emotionally exhausting...I'm going to go game for a bit. :0
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Part 1...Fire Day
I was just re reading my blog postings from fire day on...Yes, I know, depressing, crying, sad, horrifying...but enlightening. I realized there are a lot of little details missing. So, I am going to start at part 1...More for myself...to help me remember, so I dont forget the little details...So as we heal, I will always remember one of the darkest days of my, of our lives.
Lets start on July 18, 9pm. It was a very hot night..I was very cranky and felt cruddy since mother nature decided to give me my little gift. Yippee!
I was sitting under the newly obtained and modified candle chandelier I had purchased for $5.00 at a thrift store. (sshhhhh...dont tell my insurance company I only paid $5 bucks for it) (KIDDING). I had been knitting, of course, but it was HOT! The kids had begged and begged me for a fire that night, but I said no. Get this...I distinctly remember telling that it was to hot and to dangerous. We had not had rain in such a long time, that it would be to dangerous to have one. If an ember from the fire put floated up and landed somewhere that we didn't notice, we could...wait for it....BURN DOWN SOMEONES HOUSE! Yes, that's right...I actually told the kids that.
I remember sitting out back under my beautiful pergola waiting for my candles to burn themselves out. They were nubs anyway. So once they were out and yes, I checked them, and no there were none other lit, oh wait, yes there were. I had to in modified hanging lights, now turned into standing lights over by the walkway. I blew those out too. I can prove it, it was the other side of the house that caught fire!
I went in after giving C1 permission to stay up all night. We were getting up at 3am because he was to catch a 4am bus heading to Boundry Waters. I figured, why should he sleep. I, however, went to bed. C1 was quite mad at himself for going to bed. He was going to stay up till 3 but was to tired. He said, if only he had stayed awake, he might have seen it earlier than it was caught...saved the house...etc etc..
I set the alarm on my phone, cause I didn't own an alarm clock any more for 3am. And I always keep my phone on my night stand. See, we only have one phone in our house. Its attached to the wall in the kitchen. I figure that if someone ever tries to break in, (yeah right, in this neighborhood?) I can call 911. Course, my dogs would eat them first but oh well. And cause I need to check FB before I go to bed and its the first thing I check when I wake up :)
So. Hubby and I are woken up by the loudest pounding I've ever heard in my life. Have you ever been trapped in road construction where the giant machine is pounding giant poles into the ground? It was like that, but louder. Hubby ran out of bed and I grabbed my phone. Honest, it was only to look at the time. the time was 1:10am. In my sleepy mind, I thought we had overslept and that this was someone from the bus looking for us.
I dont hear anyone but my hubby now...I hear him ask very very quizzically, my house is on fire? I didn't even hear the dogs barking. they had to be right? they bark at a leaf flying by. Hubby said something else, but neither him nor I remember what.
I fly out of bed, no phone or glasses. I run to C2's room. Open the door and while holding on the door handle start screaming, 'GET UP GET UP GET UP, THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE, RUN RUN RUN. ' C2 later asked me why I didn't come into her room to wake her up. I told her that I didn't know what was on fire. I didn't know if I had the time to walk the three steps into her room to wake her or not. there was no smell of smoke inside the house at this time, no obvious signs of fire. No sounds, no smell, we had power. Heck these boys could have been high or something (BWAHAHAHAH) and been pulling our legs, except for what ever my husband said after he opened the door.
I remember, beating on C2's door, screaming, thinking this a nightmare...this is not real..this is not happening..I am not telling my children to run because the house is on fire...this is a joke...
Then I ran to the boys room where I did the same thing. I saw C1 sit up..he's in the top bunk. So C2 was up and C1 was up. I ran back to my room, grabbed my glasses and phone and ran back to the boys room. See c3 sleeps like the dead. I only know that I ran back and grabbed my glasses and phone...
**I find out two days later...my neighbor behind me, Mr Bill, had been tossing and turning in his sleep because it was to bright in his bedroom. He thought we had left the outside spots on. Finally, he gets up and looks out the window to see our house on fire. He calls my cell, I didn't even know he had my cell number, and that is the exact time I ran back to get it. When I picked it up I must have answered it. He starts screaming, get out of the house...hears me yelling run run run. He knows we are safe, he hangs up calls 911, they say its been reported. The, Mr. Bill, a retired insurance recovery specialist, takes pictures of my house on fire! AWESOME!
I actually dont remember doing it. I dont remember seeing the kids run past me, I dont remember putting shoes on, I dont remember anything until I get downstairs.
I know they are out, I would have never left the 2nd floor if there were not...did I actually double check? Did I see them? Did I hear them? I have no idea.
I did find out later that C1 who shares a room with C3 actually lept out of the top bunk and woke up C3. C3 told me that C1 grabbed him and didn't yell or scream, but stated loudly, 'dude we gotta run, the house is on fire'. C3 then apologized as he reported to me that he said 'holy shit'. I told C3 that if there was ever an appropriate time to say that, it was then.
So, I get downstairs, I'm at the bottom of the stairs, I dont remember actually looking out the back door. I wonder if I stood there and stared, or did I just glance as I ran past? I have no idea.
I get to the bottom of the stairs, I see the grass on fire..not on fire but on FIRE. Big difference. I see a wall of fire, but I dont smell smoke, I dont see smoke. I dont feel heat. I HEAR the fire. I hear a pop and sizzle and something else but I dont know what. Isn't it funny, that after a month and a half I can still remember it like it was yesterday.
I turn to go to the front door...its only about three steps from the stairs. Now, we've all talked about what we would save if there was a house fire. Family albums, wedding picture, grandmas silver...we hubby and I always joked about a newspaper I have. Its professionally framed hanging right there between the stairs and the door. Its an authentic New York Post, April 15, 1865 reporting the assassination of Lincoln. Get this...as I was running towards the door, I actually thought to myself, I should grab that, it would be funny! Honest, I did...then I thought, no that would be in bad taste. How odd..how did I have such a long conversation with myself in a nano second?
I get to the door, its crowded but I dont know why at the time. Big dog, cooper is there, I throw him out...smaller dog(ha, 80lbs) Molly panics and runs back inside..now I remember why its crowded..one of the boys who saved out lives, is behind me...grabs her and runs her past me outside.
I stop at the doorway..I now know that the outside of the house is on fire, the back...I think, if its safe, I should grab car keys to get the cars out of the driveway...They keys are in the kitchen about 7 steps away...(I have short legs). Kitchen lights are on, I can find them easy. I turn to go grab them, I look up kinda towards my dining room table? and see waves of white smoke pouring in. It looked like a cloud? like cotton candy. I'm pretty sure it was white though. I wonder why it wasn't black..but it was white? I think? It didn't rush in, it just kind of wafted in. I could have grabbed my car keys, I could see, it was not a lot of smoke, but, smartly, I said no way...and ran outside......
Enough for now...probably wont be able to sleep tonight now....and this is long enough....
another day...Part 2...the scene from across the street
Lets start on July 18, 9pm. It was a very hot night..I was very cranky and felt cruddy since mother nature decided to give me my little gift. Yippee!
I was sitting under the newly obtained and modified candle chandelier I had purchased for $5.00 at a thrift store. (sshhhhh...dont tell my insurance company I only paid $5 bucks for it) (KIDDING). I had been knitting, of course, but it was HOT! The kids had begged and begged me for a fire that night, but I said no. Get this...I distinctly remember telling that it was to hot and to dangerous. We had not had rain in such a long time, that it would be to dangerous to have one. If an ember from the fire put floated up and landed somewhere that we didn't notice, we could...wait for it....BURN DOWN SOMEONES HOUSE! Yes, that's right...I actually told the kids that.
I remember sitting out back under my beautiful pergola waiting for my candles to burn themselves out. They were nubs anyway. So once they were out and yes, I checked them, and no there were none other lit, oh wait, yes there were. I had to in modified hanging lights, now turned into standing lights over by the walkway. I blew those out too. I can prove it, it was the other side of the house that caught fire!
I went in after giving C1 permission to stay up all night. We were getting up at 3am because he was to catch a 4am bus heading to Boundry Waters. I figured, why should he sleep. I, however, went to bed. C1 was quite mad at himself for going to bed. He was going to stay up till 3 but was to tired. He said, if only he had stayed awake, he might have seen it earlier than it was caught...saved the house...etc etc..
I set the alarm on my phone, cause I didn't own an alarm clock any more for 3am. And I always keep my phone on my night stand. See, we only have one phone in our house. Its attached to the wall in the kitchen. I figure that if someone ever tries to break in, (yeah right, in this neighborhood?) I can call 911. Course, my dogs would eat them first but oh well. And cause I need to check FB before I go to bed and its the first thing I check when I wake up :)
So. Hubby and I are woken up by the loudest pounding I've ever heard in my life. Have you ever been trapped in road construction where the giant machine is pounding giant poles into the ground? It was like that, but louder. Hubby ran out of bed and I grabbed my phone. Honest, it was only to look at the time. the time was 1:10am. In my sleepy mind, I thought we had overslept and that this was someone from the bus looking for us.
I dont hear anyone but my hubby now...I hear him ask very very quizzically, my house is on fire? I didn't even hear the dogs barking. they had to be right? they bark at a leaf flying by. Hubby said something else, but neither him nor I remember what.
I fly out of bed, no phone or glasses. I run to C2's room. Open the door and while holding on the door handle start screaming, 'GET UP GET UP GET UP, THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE, RUN RUN RUN. ' C2 later asked me why I didn't come into her room to wake her up. I told her that I didn't know what was on fire. I didn't know if I had the time to walk the three steps into her room to wake her or not. there was no smell of smoke inside the house at this time, no obvious signs of fire. No sounds, no smell, we had power. Heck these boys could have been high or something (BWAHAHAHAH) and been pulling our legs, except for what ever my husband said after he opened the door.
I remember, beating on C2's door, screaming, thinking this a nightmare...this is not real..this is not happening..I am not telling my children to run because the house is on fire...this is a joke...
Then I ran to the boys room where I did the same thing. I saw C1 sit up..he's in the top bunk. So C2 was up and C1 was up. I ran back to my room, grabbed my glasses and phone and ran back to the boys room. See c3 sleeps like the dead. I only know that I ran back and grabbed my glasses and phone...
**I find out two days later...my neighbor behind me, Mr Bill, had been tossing and turning in his sleep because it was to bright in his bedroom. He thought we had left the outside spots on. Finally, he gets up and looks out the window to see our house on fire. He calls my cell, I didn't even know he had my cell number, and that is the exact time I ran back to get it. When I picked it up I must have answered it. He starts screaming, get out of the house...hears me yelling run run run. He knows we are safe, he hangs up calls 911, they say its been reported. The, Mr. Bill, a retired insurance recovery specialist, takes pictures of my house on fire! AWESOME!
I actually dont remember doing it. I dont remember seeing the kids run past me, I dont remember putting shoes on, I dont remember anything until I get downstairs.
I know they are out, I would have never left the 2nd floor if there were not...did I actually double check? Did I see them? Did I hear them? I have no idea.
I did find out later that C1 who shares a room with C3 actually lept out of the top bunk and woke up C3. C3 told me that C1 grabbed him and didn't yell or scream, but stated loudly, 'dude we gotta run, the house is on fire'. C3 then apologized as he reported to me that he said 'holy shit'. I told C3 that if there was ever an appropriate time to say that, it was then.
So, I get downstairs, I'm at the bottom of the stairs, I dont remember actually looking out the back door. I wonder if I stood there and stared, or did I just glance as I ran past? I have no idea.
I get to the bottom of the stairs, I see the grass on fire..not on fire but on FIRE. Big difference. I see a wall of fire, but I dont smell smoke, I dont see smoke. I dont feel heat. I HEAR the fire. I hear a pop and sizzle and something else but I dont know what. Isn't it funny, that after a month and a half I can still remember it like it was yesterday.
I turn to go to the front door...its only about three steps from the stairs. Now, we've all talked about what we would save if there was a house fire. Family albums, wedding picture, grandmas silver...we hubby and I always joked about a newspaper I have. Its professionally framed hanging right there between the stairs and the door. Its an authentic New York Post, April 15, 1865 reporting the assassination of Lincoln. Get this...as I was running towards the door, I actually thought to myself, I should grab that, it would be funny! Honest, I did...then I thought, no that would be in bad taste. How odd..how did I have such a long conversation with myself in a nano second?
I get to the door, its crowded but I dont know why at the time. Big dog, cooper is there, I throw him out...smaller dog(ha, 80lbs) Molly panics and runs back inside..now I remember why its crowded..one of the boys who saved out lives, is behind me...grabs her and runs her past me outside.
I stop at the doorway..I now know that the outside of the house is on fire, the back...I think, if its safe, I should grab car keys to get the cars out of the driveway...They keys are in the kitchen about 7 steps away...(I have short legs). Kitchen lights are on, I can find them easy. I turn to go grab them, I look up kinda towards my dining room table? and see waves of white smoke pouring in. It looked like a cloud? like cotton candy. I'm pretty sure it was white though. I wonder why it wasn't black..but it was white? I think? It didn't rush in, it just kind of wafted in. I could have grabbed my car keys, I could see, it was not a lot of smoke, but, smartly, I said no way...and ran outside......
Enough for now...probably wont be able to sleep tonight now....and this is long enough....
another day...Part 2...the scene from across the street
Sunday, August 19, 2012
I must have F*** with me on my forehead
I swear I must have Fuck with me sign stamped on my forehead. (yes, I know mom, I swore again)
I get that the replacing of items is a long and slow and tedious process. I get that. But..what I don't understand is why people must mess with me. (there mom, I didn't say it again) Do I look dishonest? Have I acted that way in the past? or now?
I have stated from the beginning of this whole land of hell, I just want my stuff back.
On July 30th, I sent a list of must haves along with URL's and prices. She said she would look to see if they could get better prices.
August 17, yes, three weeks later, I put my bitch on. Actually, I have my husband put his bitch on. He calls, gives grief.
I receive an email stating that I can purchase items on my own and in bold letter, states the monetary limits on it.
Kitchen aid 4.5 qt mixer
$262.11 total
Um...ok...fine. They will gladly order it 7-10 days for this price. Its been three weeks already, but fine,whatever. If I choose to buy it, I have to find it for no more than $262.11 including tax or they wont pay the difference. *GROWL*
Can you just feel me pulling my bitch out...
Two hours later, I get another email from the same person...stating that a store in CL has a Kitchen Aid Mixer, 5 quart(bigger size) and in bold type again, includes all attachments, for $349.00. Go ahead and get this.
Oh, my must have list there were two attachments that I need. This woman thinks and did not read the online ad, that the pasta roller, list price of $199.00 and the Shredder attachment, list price 49.99 is actually included.
I am now dusting my bitch off...
I now own a mixer that I never owned before for $150 more than what I would have spent if THEY HAD JUST LET ME GO OUT AND BUY THE DAMN THING IN THE FIRST PLACE THREE WEEKS AGO. and it does not include the attachments I need.
Actually, this is pretty damn depressing. If I go out and buy my mixer, and it costs $300 then they will only pay me $262.11. Why? I paid more than that when I bought it. Why do I feel like I'm being punished.'
I wonder if they get kickbacks from some stores?
If my agent gave a damn about us, which he doesn't, I would have a go between. I dont. He's never even called us since the fire. But, if I'm late on a payment, I get a bright pink notice. Maybe my next check to them should be partially burned.
Local agent I contacted asking unofficial questions about this whole process, doesn't understand why they are giving me such a hard time. Me neither.
I told them I need a new deep freeze. I pick out the one I need. She quotes 525.83. I find it for 429. How does she even have a job?
Her job is to find better prices and to jerk me around. She sucks at better prices but is great at jerking me around.
Now I'm not sure what to do? Hubby returned the mixer for me. More to make a point than anything else.
So, now I still dont have a mixer, still dont have a vacuum and they want to spend $100 more on my deep freeze.
Can someone please explain to me what is going on here?
Do I call and rip heads off, Do I demand a supervisor, Do I switch agents so I can get a go between? All options lead to more headaches.
Sigh....I've got some zucchini that will rot soon since I cant shred them for Zucchini/Banana bread....anyone want them?
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Where do I begin....
I know when doing a big remodeling job..or even a small one, its overwhelming. Most of the time, just planning on is overwhelming.
Buying new furniture for a room is stressful. I mean what if you buy it, have it delivered, set it up, move it around a few times, and then decide its horrible.
Today I discovered that my coffee table and two end tables are now toast. Water damage. I get it, no big deal. Its a coffee table and two end tables. They are hugely old, came from my parents house. they have seen better days. But now I have to replace them. Correction, now I have to replace my ENTIRE living room. What annoys me the most, is that it is not my choice to replace my furniture. Replacing by choice, painting by choice, redecorating by choice is fun. THIS IS NOT FUN.
Let me start at the top.
Boys room. The beds as far as we know right now, are cleanable. That's it. Beds. No desks, no chairs, no shelves, heck, no stuff. Technically, no beds, just the bunk frames. No sheets, no pillows, no drapes, no blinds.
Our room. Furniture is a yes as far as we know. Already purchased a new bed. And we will have clothes.
Girls room. NOTHING. That's right. All of it gone. She has no bed, no mattress, no desk, no chair, no lamps, nothing...zippo
Living room. Nothing..oh wait...maybe a corner shelf
Dining room. Table had better be salvageable! It has smoke and water. *fingers crossed*
Kitchen. A couple of mixing bowls. Literally, a couple of heavy duty glass mixing bowls.
Family room. Maybe the couches...but probably not. So, one coffee table my parents gave us.
This is only the furnishing.
Right now my house is a house of made of sticks. There are no floors, no ceilings, no walls.
Dont get me wrong. I LOVE redecorating. Its my favorite thing to do in the whole world. I love painting, getting new furniture, hanging a new picture...etc etc...
My house has been an eclectic mess since we bought it. Half decorated from thrift stores....painted on a whim...Its taken me 15 years to make it mine. To make it ours, to make it a home.
How the hell am I supposed to re do this? The house was a reflection of me, my personality, my quirks, my sense of humor(bright green bathroom!). It took me 15 years to create that. How am I supposed to recreate that in 6-8 months?
I know the harsh truth...it can't be done. It will be a house, but not quite my home.
It will be re built. Re painted, re floored. It will be shiny and pretty, everything brand new. Everyone keeps telling me how wonderful it will be. "YOU WILL HAVE A BRAND NEW HOUSE"
Sigh..I dont want it.
What, how, where, when do I start? I was planning on repainting the living room and our bedroom this year. I have no idea what color...Now, I dont have the time to really think about it. It has to be done.
I have to build and decorate an entire house in 6-8 months. I have to re create our HOME. How do I rebuild my sense of warmth...the feeling that a family lives there. That a nutty, busy, chaotic family lives there. To many people and pets living in to small of a house. The mismatches furniture, painted frames, mismatched lamps, the feeling of home. Cozy.
It will no longer be cozy, it will be a house...not home. It will be a long time before it becomes home.
Buying new furniture for a room is stressful. I mean what if you buy it, have it delivered, set it up, move it around a few times, and then decide its horrible.
Today I discovered that my coffee table and two end tables are now toast. Water damage. I get it, no big deal. Its a coffee table and two end tables. They are hugely old, came from my parents house. they have seen better days. But now I have to replace them. Correction, now I have to replace my ENTIRE living room. What annoys me the most, is that it is not my choice to replace my furniture. Replacing by choice, painting by choice, redecorating by choice is fun. THIS IS NOT FUN.
Let me start at the top.
Boys room. The beds as far as we know right now, are cleanable. That's it. Beds. No desks, no chairs, no shelves, heck, no stuff. Technically, no beds, just the bunk frames. No sheets, no pillows, no drapes, no blinds.
Our room. Furniture is a yes as far as we know. Already purchased a new bed. And we will have clothes.
Girls room. NOTHING. That's right. All of it gone. She has no bed, no mattress, no desk, no chair, no lamps, nothing...zippo
Living room. Nothing..oh wait...maybe a corner shelf
Dining room. Table had better be salvageable! It has smoke and water. *fingers crossed*
Kitchen. A couple of mixing bowls. Literally, a couple of heavy duty glass mixing bowls.
Family room. Maybe the couches...but probably not. So, one coffee table my parents gave us.
This is only the furnishing.
Right now my house is a house of made of sticks. There are no floors, no ceilings, no walls.
Dont get me wrong. I LOVE redecorating. Its my favorite thing to do in the whole world. I love painting, getting new furniture, hanging a new picture...etc etc...
My house has been an eclectic mess since we bought it. Half decorated from thrift stores....painted on a whim...Its taken me 15 years to make it mine. To make it ours, to make it a home.
How the hell am I supposed to re do this? The house was a reflection of me, my personality, my quirks, my sense of humor(bright green bathroom!). It took me 15 years to create that. How am I supposed to recreate that in 6-8 months?
I know the harsh truth...it can't be done. It will be a house, but not quite my home.
It will be re built. Re painted, re floored. It will be shiny and pretty, everything brand new. Everyone keeps telling me how wonderful it will be. "YOU WILL HAVE A BRAND NEW HOUSE"
Sigh..I dont want it.
What, how, where, when do I start? I was planning on repainting the living room and our bedroom this year. I have no idea what color...Now, I dont have the time to really think about it. It has to be done.
I have to build and decorate an entire house in 6-8 months. I have to re create our HOME. How do I rebuild my sense of warmth...the feeling that a family lives there. That a nutty, busy, chaotic family lives there. To many people and pets living in to small of a house. The mismatches furniture, painted frames, mismatched lamps, the feeling of home. Cozy.
It will no longer be cozy, it will be a house...not home. It will be a long time before it becomes home.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Someone here is nuts...I hope its not me
So, now we have entered the 'Inventory your life's possessions and throw most of them away' part of AFTER THE FIRE.
This is even more frustrating than standing there with your children watching the house burn. There are so many things out of my control, things I have to wait for other people to do, to say, to agree, to disagree, to argue about....It is possible I might lose my mind just trying to get this done.
There are over 313 items cateloged for the garage. That is only the items we were able to identify...that is they did not melt into a pile of goo. For whatever reason, I have to look up each freaking item and find out a replacement cost. Are you kidding me?
My sons Lego sets. Well, all of the kids lego sets. There are aprox 70 of them. I can only prove a few of them since only C2 saved her books. The rest were in giant boxes destined to be thrown away. C1 and his friends sat in the warehouse for two days sorting. Every time the identified a part of a set, they had a picture taken and wrote down the name. Last night I spent 3 hours looking up prices and cropping pictures to put into a document showing a child at either xmas or bdays holding it up in surprise. Plesae tell me there is a better way.
We cataloged 32 skeins of mostly sock yarn. Several hand dyed. Most not having labels anymore since I buy them in hanks and then re rwind them. How am I supposed to remember what they where, where I purchased them and how much it costs now. How do I do this? Am I supposed to take them to the two stores I shop at or the traveling shows..do I weight each one to calculate how much of a full skein it was? What about the hand dyed ones. How do I put a price on my time and effort? How much am I worth an hour?
My knitting bag...It was a gift from my mother..its no longer made..I cannot even find a picture of it..how do I justify, other than the fact that I owned it, that it costs x amount and I need to spend x amount.
How much is a 'pretty shell' that my daughter got for me worth? She was 5. I dont remember where it came from, other than her. I'm sure she didn't buy it..hope she didn't steal it,but it was a gift. How do I put a price on that.
A seam ripper. Do I really have to look up the replacement cost of that? A plastic tape measure that rolls up? A small porcelin dish I bought at the Trail of History. I dont have a recipt. I cant even remember how much I paid for it? Half used package of green tissue paper. Box of staples, leather belt, a wii game, coffee mug, camera case, one candle, blue candy bowl, metal vase, box of envelopes, candle holder, picture frame, metal planter, wood bowl, baby shoes, little wooden owl, 2 tea cups, glass vase, antique car, porcelin bank..half a box of plastic forks, half a bottle of suave shampoo, Pledge, a million unsharpened pencils, screwdrivers, melted fishing poles, melted tackle boxes, possibly 12+ hot dog trays(they melted into a lump)...I could go on forever. I had a bag of 100 tea lights. Probably 50 left. I bought them two or three years ago....how do I put a value on that. How much did I pay, from where and how much to replace...
Everything that is deemed unsalvagable, I am supposed to write up on their personal property inventory customer worksheek, or type it on line. Them I am supposed to research it, and find a replacement cost. There are also spots to list where I bought it and how old the item is. Ummm..My baby shoes..bought 40something years ago...I dont know how much to replace them since they are no longer made!
How much is my time worth versus how much is my stuff worth? Am I expected to put my life on hold, my familes life on hold, put my children through more than they have already been through just so I can get 1.50 for a 'pretty shell' my daughter bought me..or a buck for the wooden owl that my son saved up two days for to buy from a thrift store for me.
Why do they do this to us? To anyone who has suffered such a loss. Haven't we suffered enough...We have lost 95% of our personal belongings. They kids have lost almost everything. And now I have to put my life and their lives on hold so I can put a value on it? How can I do that? Why do they do that..I know why...cause most people wont research every last item...wont look at receipts...wont question the cleaners when they say its 6625.94 to clean all of our items. I am more than willling to go to the warehouse down town to prove I DONT own 12 backpacks! Most people dont look...they say clean it..I say...the drapes for the boys room I got on sale at Target for 8 bucks. Please dont charge me 32 to clean them.
Problem is though, if I rock the boat...yell or demand a solution...then things will either slow down or who knows what. Paperwork will start getting lost? Hell, my own SF agent who we have had for 15 years never even called to acknowledge our loss. He is so FIRED! But I cant do it now...it might makes waves.
GUESS WHAT SF...THIS IS MY LIFE...I WANT IT BACK...EXACTLY THE WAY IT WAS. I WANT MY STUFF BACK, BROKEN CHIPPED, MISSING PIECES...CAUSE IT WAS MINE. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO FORCE ME TO PUT MY LIFE ON HOLD TO PROVE THAT A SHELL MY DAUGHTER GAVE ME WHEN SHE WAS LITTLE IS WORTH SOMETHING. ITS WORTH THE WORLD TO ME..YOU CANNOT WRITE ME A CHECK TO MAKE IT BETTER...ITS GONE...I CANNOT TURN BACK THE CLOCK 7 YEARS AND RELIVE THAT MOMENT. AND NOW I DONT HAVE THAT SHELL, OR THAT OWL, OR THAT HAND MADE CLAY HANDPRINT...AND YOU WANT ME TO LOOK ON EBAY TO TRY TO FIND IT SO I CAN PUT A VALUE ON IT.
Later this week, I get to go to the warehouse and look at all of the hand made xmas ornaments I've had since I was a kid. Made by the elders of my dad's family as place settings. They cannot be salvaged. What is the cost of a pair of skis made out of popsicle sticks, hand painted and glued together with ski poles with my name on it from 1982. Or the Holmes for the Holidays ornaments? The hand painted light up xmas tree ornaments? How do I place an value on an un replaceable item?
Why do I have to prove my life to them? Why do they make me feel like I'm trying to steal something...trying to get something better than what I had.
Why do I have to prove my worth to a bunch of strangers?
This is even more frustrating than standing there with your children watching the house burn. There are so many things out of my control, things I have to wait for other people to do, to say, to agree, to disagree, to argue about....It is possible I might lose my mind just trying to get this done.
There are over 313 items cateloged for the garage. That is only the items we were able to identify...that is they did not melt into a pile of goo. For whatever reason, I have to look up each freaking item and find out a replacement cost. Are you kidding me?
My sons Lego sets. Well, all of the kids lego sets. There are aprox 70 of them. I can only prove a few of them since only C2 saved her books. The rest were in giant boxes destined to be thrown away. C1 and his friends sat in the warehouse for two days sorting. Every time the identified a part of a set, they had a picture taken and wrote down the name. Last night I spent 3 hours looking up prices and cropping pictures to put into a document showing a child at either xmas or bdays holding it up in surprise. Plesae tell me there is a better way.
We cataloged 32 skeins of mostly sock yarn. Several hand dyed. Most not having labels anymore since I buy them in hanks and then re rwind them. How am I supposed to remember what they where, where I purchased them and how much it costs now. How do I do this? Am I supposed to take them to the two stores I shop at or the traveling shows..do I weight each one to calculate how much of a full skein it was? What about the hand dyed ones. How do I put a price on my time and effort? How much am I worth an hour?
My knitting bag...It was a gift from my mother..its no longer made..I cannot even find a picture of it..how do I justify, other than the fact that I owned it, that it costs x amount and I need to spend x amount.
How much is a 'pretty shell' that my daughter got for me worth? She was 5. I dont remember where it came from, other than her. I'm sure she didn't buy it..hope she didn't steal it,but it was a gift. How do I put a price on that.
A seam ripper. Do I really have to look up the replacement cost of that? A plastic tape measure that rolls up? A small porcelin dish I bought at the Trail of History. I dont have a recipt. I cant even remember how much I paid for it? Half used package of green tissue paper. Box of staples, leather belt, a wii game, coffee mug, camera case, one candle, blue candy bowl, metal vase, box of envelopes, candle holder, picture frame, metal planter, wood bowl, baby shoes, little wooden owl, 2 tea cups, glass vase, antique car, porcelin bank..half a box of plastic forks, half a bottle of suave shampoo, Pledge, a million unsharpened pencils, screwdrivers, melted fishing poles, melted tackle boxes, possibly 12+ hot dog trays(they melted into a lump)...I could go on forever. I had a bag of 100 tea lights. Probably 50 left. I bought them two or three years ago....how do I put a value on that. How much did I pay, from where and how much to replace...
Everything that is deemed unsalvagable, I am supposed to write up on their personal property inventory customer worksheek, or type it on line. Them I am supposed to research it, and find a replacement cost. There are also spots to list where I bought it and how old the item is. Ummm..My baby shoes..bought 40something years ago...I dont know how much to replace them since they are no longer made!
How much is my time worth versus how much is my stuff worth? Am I expected to put my life on hold, my familes life on hold, put my children through more than they have already been through just so I can get 1.50 for a 'pretty shell' my daughter bought me..or a buck for the wooden owl that my son saved up two days for to buy from a thrift store for me.
Why do they do this to us? To anyone who has suffered such a loss. Haven't we suffered enough...We have lost 95% of our personal belongings. They kids have lost almost everything. And now I have to put my life and their lives on hold so I can put a value on it? How can I do that? Why do they do that..I know why...cause most people wont research every last item...wont look at receipts...wont question the cleaners when they say its 6625.94 to clean all of our items. I am more than willling to go to the warehouse down town to prove I DONT own 12 backpacks! Most people dont look...they say clean it..I say...the drapes for the boys room I got on sale at Target for 8 bucks. Please dont charge me 32 to clean them.
Problem is though, if I rock the boat...yell or demand a solution...then things will either slow down or who knows what. Paperwork will start getting lost? Hell, my own SF agent who we have had for 15 years never even called to acknowledge our loss. He is so FIRED! But I cant do it now...it might makes waves.
GUESS WHAT SF...THIS IS MY LIFE...I WANT IT BACK...EXACTLY THE WAY IT WAS. I WANT MY STUFF BACK, BROKEN CHIPPED, MISSING PIECES...CAUSE IT WAS MINE. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO FORCE ME TO PUT MY LIFE ON HOLD TO PROVE THAT A SHELL MY DAUGHTER GAVE ME WHEN SHE WAS LITTLE IS WORTH SOMETHING. ITS WORTH THE WORLD TO ME..YOU CANNOT WRITE ME A CHECK TO MAKE IT BETTER...ITS GONE...I CANNOT TURN BACK THE CLOCK 7 YEARS AND RELIVE THAT MOMENT. AND NOW I DONT HAVE THAT SHELL, OR THAT OWL, OR THAT HAND MADE CLAY HANDPRINT...AND YOU WANT ME TO LOOK ON EBAY TO TRY TO FIND IT SO I CAN PUT A VALUE ON IT.
Later this week, I get to go to the warehouse and look at all of the hand made xmas ornaments I've had since I was a kid. Made by the elders of my dad's family as place settings. They cannot be salvaged. What is the cost of a pair of skis made out of popsicle sticks, hand painted and glued together with ski poles with my name on it from 1982. Or the Holmes for the Holidays ornaments? The hand painted light up xmas tree ornaments? How do I place an value on an un replaceable item?
Why do I have to prove my life to them? Why do they make me feel like I'm trying to steal something...trying to get something better than what I had.
Why do I have to prove my worth to a bunch of strangers?
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