Where do I begin....

I know when doing a big remodeling job..or even a small one, its overwhelming.  Most of the time, just planning on is overwhelming. 

Buying new furniture for a room is stressful.  I mean what if you buy it, have it delivered, set it up, move it around a few times, and then decide its horrible. 

Today I discovered that my coffee table and two end tables are now toast.  Water damage.  I get it, no big deal.  Its a coffee table and two end tables.  They are hugely old, came from my parents house.  they have seen better days.  But now I have to replace them.  Correction, now I have to replace my ENTIRE living room.  What annoys me the most, is that it is not my choice to replace my furniture.  Replacing by choice, painting by choice, redecorating by choice is fun.  THIS IS NOT FUN. 

Let me start at the top. 

Boys room.  The beds as far as we know right now, are cleanable.  That's it.  Beds. No desks, no chairs, no shelves, heck, no stuff.  Technically, no beds, just the bunk frames.  No sheets, no pillows, no drapes, no blinds.

Our room.  Furniture is a yes as far as we know.  Already purchased a new bed.  And we will have clothes. 

Girls room.  NOTHING. That's right.  All of it gone.  She has no bed, no mattress, no desk, no chair, no lamps, nothing...zippo

Living room.  Nothing..oh wait...maybe a corner shelf
Dining room.  Table had better be salvageable!  It has smoke and water.  *fingers crossed*

Kitchen.  A couple of mixing bowls.  Literally, a couple of heavy duty glass mixing bowls. 

Family room.  Maybe the couches...but probably not.  So, one coffee table my parents gave us.

This is only the furnishing. 

Right now my house is a house of made of sticks.  There are no floors, no ceilings, no walls. 

Dont get me wrong. I LOVE redecorating.  Its my favorite thing to do in the whole world.  I love painting, getting new furniture, hanging a new picture...etc etc...

My house has been an eclectic mess since we bought it.  Half decorated from thrift stores....painted on a whim...Its taken me 15 years to make it mine.  To make it ours, to make it a home. 

How the hell am I supposed to re do this?  The house was a reflection of me, my personality, my quirks, my sense of humor(bright green bathroom!).  It took me 15 years to create that.  How am I supposed to recreate that in 6-8 months? 

I know the harsh truth...it can't be done.  It will be a house, but not quite my home.

It will be re built.  Re painted, re floored.  It will be shiny and pretty, everything brand new.  Everyone keeps telling  me how wonderful it will be.  "YOU WILL HAVE A BRAND NEW HOUSE" 

Sigh..I dont want it. 

What, how, where, when do I start?  I was planning on repainting the living room and our bedroom this year. I have no idea what color...Now, I dont have the time to really think about it.  It has to be done. 

I have to build and decorate an entire house in 6-8 months. I have to re create our HOME.  How do I rebuild my sense of warmth...the feeling that  a family lives there.  That a nutty, busy, chaotic family lives there.  To many people and pets living in to small of a house.  The mismatches furniture, painted frames, mismatched lamps, the feeling of home.  Cozy. 

It will no longer be cozy, it will be a house...not home.  It will be a long time before it becomes home.