Tomorrow...it will be 16 years. At least I think it will be 16 years that we have been married. I actually have no clue. Hubby usually reminds me. I have no head for dates. Course, we've both forgotten several times. On our 10th, my grandfather actually emailed us saying congrats. We had both forgotten!
So over the course of the past 16? years, I have been attempting to mold, every so gently, my husband into, I have no idea what. A man I dont want to strangle every three seconds? Ok, no its not that bad...but there are days that I can look at him and think...who the hell are you? Course, I am sure that he can look at me and think the same thing just about every day! :)
Now, we all have things that they do that drive us nuts and we have asked several times, ok 100 times for them to stop or to do or to modify and they dont. Course there are some things I have given up on, like actually opening the closet door to put the laundry in rather than throwing on the floor outside the closed door. But there are still some things I will NOT give up on.
1. DO NOT CALL ME WHEN YOU ARE ON YOU WAY HOME FROM WORK!. There are several reasons for this. If you call me on your way home and tell me all about your day, then what are we going to talk about when you get home. Also, I am in the middle of getting dinner ready, help with homework, finding baseball pants cause we are late for practice, saying no to sleepovers, trying to locate our teenager, scraping the toothpaste off of the ceiling....you get the picture. and you call and want to chit chat..then have the nerve, cause I cant spell audacity, oh I did it!, the audacity to sound offended that I dont want to talk to you!!! *BEYOTCH SLAP*
Status of this offense: Cured!
2. DO NOT ASK WHY ARE THERE (INSERT ANTYHING HERE) DOWNSTAIRS. I would imagine that the kids were hungry and that is why there is a leftover bowl of WHATEVER downstairs on the couch. Good god in heaven man...and you are a college educated man!
Why is there a bowl of pretzels downstairs. I would guess cause a child was eating them and then got lazy and left the bowl there. Dont ask, just order any child to clean it up or do it yourself.
Status of this Offense: Cured! (most of the time)
3. DONT ASK WHY....EVERY. Remember when our precious children where little and they would ask but why mommy and we would answer them cause it was fun and cute...remember how quickly we got over that when all they ever do is ask why. CAUSE I FREAKING SAID SO! Ok...I dont ever respond with that. HONEST! My response to why is. 'dont like the answer dont ask the question' . I like it. Better than CAUSE I FREAKING SAID SO!. I swear, there could be an entire blog post on the word why. Hubby is always asking why. Why are there children in the backyard..why is there an extra child at the dinner table, why is the tv on , why is there toothpaste on the floor, why is the dog half shaved, why why why why why why why. AAAARRRGGHHHH!
Status of this Offense: Cured! How you ask...every time he asked why, I replied, 'Garden gnomes dear'
4. My current challenging behavioral change....He calls my cell phone, I dont answer...he calls the house phone! *GROWL* I ever so politely informed hubby just this week, that there are several places I dont take my cell phone with me. Shower, bathroom, working on the pool...things like that. I didn't mention that sometimes I just dont want to talk to anyone! So the other day, I have been swamped with GS camp...he calls my cell phone. I had just sat down to play Xbox. I didn't get up. I had left it upstairs. Then the house phone rings. GROWL. I go get it. Its hubby. I ask him to please call me back on my cell phone. I dont tell him so that I can go sit back down and kill people on the xbox. I was right in the middle of a round afterall. I then begin to school my husband. I tell him that when I call him and he doesn't answer, I assume he is busy. However, he does not afford the same curtsey to me. If I am in the bathroom ( or playing COD) and I dont answer my cell phone, and he calls the house phone, I am still not going to jump up and go get it! Please assume that If I dont answer my cell phone, its cause I am otherwise preoccupied.
Status of Offense: Cured? He called my cell this morning, I was on the other line so I didn't answer and the house phone didn't ring! Of course, according to my mother, my own personal KILJOY, thanks mom!, maybe he got called away...but I would rather live in my dream world and believe that he realized I was busy and opted to phone at another time.
So ladies, dont give up hope...They can be molded into something that we dont want to kill...oh wait..my cell phone is ringing.. I didn't answer...lets see if my house phone rings......
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