Pinterest and the stuff on it.....

Kinda liking the newest internet fad, Pinterest.  HAHAHA.  spell check doesn't recognize it!  anyway, I have found lots of great ideas on it, and I have found some oddities on it also....and then there's this....

The 30 Day Marriage Challenge...It states, Try our 30 Day Marriage challenge and we think your relationship will see a big difference.  Your Husband will love it!

HUGE FREAKING SIGH!  So....Myself being the ultimate negative nelly...(no clue where that phrase came from but I use it frequently) I am going to dissect this  list one by one and ENJOY EVERY DAY OF IT!.  

Day 1.  Ask, "What can I help you with today?"  Ummm....Ummmm....I'm not quite sure where to start on this one.  Umm....yes, he man of the house was at work all day, working hard etc etc...while we what? sat around watching soap operas and eating bons bons.  Are Soaps even on anymore and what the hell is a Bon bon???  Yesterday, I left the house at 7:20 am and got home at 3 then sat around with my feet up enjoying my evening....ummm...no!  Made dinner, helped with homework, cleaned the kitchen and house, laundry etc etc...and finally fell into bed around 11 or midnight where I proceeded to have trouble sleeping until 2. 

Day 2. Go a whole day without correcting your husband.   HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.. No wait...seriously...  HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Day 3 Hug your husband three times today.    Can't he hug me three times...and I do mean a hug, not a grope while I'm cutting up onions.  *sigh*

Day 4  Kiss your husband the first time you see him in the morning.    ewwwwww....I mean really...ewwwwww.  We dont do well together in the morning...I dont like him in the morning...he turns on the bathroom light with the door open so the light shines on my face or actually talks to me while I'm sleeping......no thanks.

Day 5  Tell yourself, "He really loves his family and he's doing his best for us."  Um...to me this is saying forgive the fact that the man you married is an asshole, he's trying.  (sorry mom)  I dont think so.  I have no problem wacking my husband upside the back of my head. 

Day 6.  Bake, make, or buy his favorite food.  I think I just threw up a little. 

Day 7.  Leave him a sweet note.  Oh lordy...Really?  a sweet note?  Like what...I love you, I'm thinking about you, You suck but I know you are doing your best?  WHO THE HELL CAME UP WITH THESE

Day 8.  Put at least one date night on your calendar this month  With my husband or girlfriends? 

Day 9.  Imagine how it feels to be in your husbands shoes.  What...you mean to be able to call and say i'll be late tonight, going out with the guys, or yelling upstairs for batteries cause the remote died? or walking over three laundry baskets at the foot of the stairs while saying good night...

Day 10.  Today's focus:  kindness   How bout...I will not kill the man today

Day 11.  Tell him, “I’m so glad I married you.”  My husband would check the liquor cabinet!

Day 12.  Pray for wisdom in being a wife.  what the hell does that even mean.  Does it mean, pray for the wisdom to relize that even the best killer gets caught after a while..

Day 13.  Do not use sarcasm with your husband today.  HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH  I just failed this one three times since typing it!

Day 14.  Remember that being a wife is a blessing.  OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

Day 15.  Think only positive thoughts about your husband.  Really...I swear I think I'm going to have a stroke from laughing so hard.

16. Thank him for all he does for your family.  Your right..rolling over at 3am to wake me up to tell me that a child is up...Thank you, you *&$^#.  Weren't you already awake. 

17.  Laugh with your husband today.  Oh I do that one every day...oh...wait..I thought it said laugh AT

18.  Who is a wife you admire? Try to be more like her today.  Holy SHIT (sorry mom).  What?  Like June Cleaver?  I'm thinking more like Rosanne

19.  Don’t ask him to do any chores or honey-dos.  OMG  I have to go fix myself a drink.  this is beyond bordering on the absurd!  OH wait...That's right.  The ladies in the 50's had 'handy men'.  I gotta get me one of those!  JK Lou!

20.  Today’s focus: patience.  Oh you have no idea!

21.  Forgive him when he makes a mistake.  I swear to god, 30 seconds ago I whipped a piece of chocolate at his head for mentioning something to one of the kids he shouldn't have.  course then I quickly picked it up and ate it!

22.  Assume the best about your husband.  Oh...so I shouldn't cringe when he opens his mouth to say something?  Oops failed that one too

23.  Treat him with respect today.  Right...for today, I will not call him a dumb ass.......to his face

24.  Do not interrupt your husband when he’s talking.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...but..but...He's a dumb ass who doesn't have a clue what he is talking about...oh doh...just broke 23 and 20 and 15 and probably a few others just by typing that

25.  Ask your husband’s opinion on something.  Sure...I try that all the time.  Honestly I do, His response....I dont care or he says sure whatever...yeah..that was fun!

26.  Encourage your husband.  um..to do what?  Way to go honey...way to flip that channel.  Woohoo! you are awesome!    Wow that belch was impressive..I think the neighbors heard it.  I fail that one too.

27.  Do one thing good for his health (Make a healthy dinner; take a walk together; make an appointment for his annual physical.) does walking out of the room when I cannot do number #23 or my #20 is low or #11 is just so not true today? 

28.  Look at him admiringly. Make sure he sees you looking at him.  ummm..exactly what kind of look is that?  I dont think I know how to do that?  Should I practice in the mirror?  I know how to do annoyed, anger, frustration, etc etc etc...admiringly?  WTF is that? Maybe I should watch old episodes of Leave it to Beaver...or maybe I saw it once on the Brady Bunch

29.  Turn off your cell phone, computer, or the TV when your husband is in the room.  Hey..I turn off my cell phone/computer for NO ONE!  I dont even turn it off in chruch..If I dont turn it off for the big guy, I sure as hell am not turning it off for .....oh damn...busted #23 yet again

30.  Today’s focus: love.  I LOVE MY VODKA, I LOVE MY VODKA, I LOVE MY VODKA

I am so going to hell........