Why does the burden fall on us? I dont see men's magazines with giant headlines, be sexier for your special someone with these 10 proven tips! Never seen that, nope nu uh...course I've seen, take this pill and you and her will smile for hours....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Sigh.....
We all know that we are not and will never be good enough. The media has been telling us that forever. Our thighs are not firm enough, we have belly fat, our boobs need giant super 'comfortable' underwire to keep them from tripping us, our butts, thank god are behind us and we cant see them, since they are to big, jiggly, cottage cheesy... Damnit, we are ugly as sin! So, we go to the gym, go to the plastic surgeon, buy life sucking spandex type material to hide it. We do this because, afterall, we have to look good for our man.
WTF people.
Google, how to look good for your husband...205,000,000 in 19 seconds
How to look good for wife....About 399,000,000 results
Bookstores, self help sections geared towards women..womans magazines telling us we suck but we can improve, seminars, entire weekends devoted to making our marriage happy and wonderful and how to spice things up in the bedroom.
Perhaps I am missing something here..Women, have a job..some have more than one..working outside the house and taking care of the house and the kids and the husband. But for me, I'm at home. I work more than my husband 2x more.. Course I dont get paid for it so it doesn't count..but that's another posting.
Hubby goes to work, comes home, eats dinner does whatever.
Mommy gets up and is working before even out of our jammies. We prepare that delicious meal that we dont get told thanks for and then our evening continues until we put all the kids to bed and then the hubby wants some snuggling time. Quick...you are tired...think back to that article you read in line at the store...how to please your man when your exhaused. WHAT????? How bout this for an article...hubby wants some lovin...you are exhausted..how to slap the shit out of him and get away with it!
Why is it up to us to make sure that our marriages are happy and wonderful. That the man of our life is happy and pleased in all ways. Why are there seminars geared towards women and not men...articles how how to please our man, but not the other way around. Why is it that if suddenly our hubby stops paying attention we start reading self help books..thinking, what did I do wrong, should I dye my hair, buy a new outfit, wrap myself in saran wrap? (favorite all time scene from Fried Green Tomatoes)
Oh yes, the hubbies work hard...have to go to work every day..blah blah blah blah..bullshit. We work twice as hard and twice as long. and guess what else...when they retire, we dont get to! We still have a house to take care of and laundry to do and errands to run!!
So her's a little bit of advice for the man in your life.
Men, husbands, boyfriends, whatever.....things slowing down in the bedroom, honey not paying as much attention to you as when you were first married, feel in a rut, lacking excitement, bored with the same old routine... Well, I have the answer for you!!!
Get off your ass and do something about it.
If you see your honey carrying full baskets of laundry upstairs, dont say, need help?...get up off your ass and run yes, run and say, here let me get those for you.
if you walk in and nothing is cooking in the kitchen, Dont' ask What's for dinner, say, Honey, can I make breakfast for dinner for all of us? Yes, you have to ask first, its not your kitchen its hers!
NEVER AND I MEAN NEVER walk in say hi, sit down at the computer to check your email and call down, do you want to come up and talk to me. guess what the answer is stupid...NO. She m been busy all day, Has probably just sat down..make the effort to care about HER, and walk your lazy ass down stairs and sit next to her and say Hi Babe..whats up.
Men..are you getting the point here...Put that woman up on a pedastal and never and I do mean never say anything about her growing backside...she did give birth to your children you know.
Want some lovin...clean the bathroom.
Life is very simple...we women are not at all complicated. Look at us when we are telling you about the strange sound the vacuum made..it is not important to you, but it is to us and you should care what we care about. Dont walk out of the room when we are talking to you and shout..i can still hear you.
Dinner, regardless of whether its awesome or a disaster, should be treated like a 9 course meal served at the best restaurant in the world. and your woman should be rewarded accordingly.
Which means, for you silly, brain dead men, that you should kiss us on our forehead and say, wow, that was wonderful, when can we have it again, as you start to clear the table. I guarantee you will go to sleep with a smile on your face.
So, you notice a pattern..We, well most of us, do not need diamonds or roses or huge expensive vacations..yes, they are nice but that is not what makes us happy. What truly makes us happy is you reminding us every day why we fell in love with you. The opening of our car door, not honking the horn and yelling hurry up while revving the engine. Smiling when we enter the room, even if we are still wearing yesterdays clothes. If you get up and get yourself a drink, ask if we'd like one too? If you stop at the store, how bout asking us if we need anything. ..I hope, I pray that you are getting the picture here..
Men, its simple...and does not take a lot of effort. Be Nice. Oh..that's from Roadhouse..with Patrick Swayze. Be Nice.
And to all of those womens magazines telling us how to keep our man happy BITE ME!
