First...I think its a personal plot against me. My vacuum hates me. Well...I think all vacuums hate me but It starts with the name of it. I keep trying to spell it vaccum which makes sense to me,but the stupid spell check keeps putting the little red line under it to tell me I am stupid and I don't know how to spell the name of my nemesis. Hey...I spelled that right!
So...Vacuums *mutter*....A love hate relationship. I hate to pull it out because that means my carpet looks like hell...but I love to vacuum because I love carpet lines! That means that for 5 minutes, my carpet looks AWESOME!
Oh...did I mention three children and two big HAIRY dogs! Sigh. So...I have to vacuum every day. If I miss a day...it looks like my carpet is growing hair! Its rather gross... My mom comes over and every single time, is wearing all black.
Did I mention my two big HAIRY dogs are WHITE! and SHED ALOT! Poor woman. WEAR JEANS ALREADY MOM!
wait...I wander...back to my stupid vacuum. I hate spending money on a vacuum. I hate to vacuum. But...since I have to vacuum, I might as well own one that actually works. No..not a dyson. I can think of 100 other things I would like to spend $800 on, other than a stupid vacuum.
I think its a hoover? I don't know. Supposed to be good for pets. Well...it was for the first day! After that, it gave up. I didn't blame it. But I am SO not going out and buying another vacuum. Think of the amount of yarn $100 can buy versus a stupid vacuum.
So...I drag out the stupid vacuum and start vacuuming up after my HAIRY WHITE DOGS and messy children....and what does the little bits of crud on the floor do...they jump and laugh at me...Its like they are saying...you wish you could remove me from the floor! HA We wont go that easily. Push stupid vacuum forward over little bits of crud.. pull stupid vacuum back over little bits of crud and watch little bits of crud jump forward out of the way of the stupid vacuum.
So...repeat. Its kinda like shampoo. Wet, lather and repeat. Go forward, backward and repeat, then start cussing, and pushing faster forward and backward...then sigh heavily and push forward very very very slowly and while pulling backward, pray little pieces of crud are now dead and get sucked up. Oh dear....that sounds a little...oh never mind. My mother reads this.
So, now I look at little pieces of crud and sigh. I could get on my hands and knees and pick up all of the crud...but ummmm no! That is why i have a stupid vacuum.
On the upside...I think I now know how to spell vaccum.
My advice to you, my dear, get a Dyson. Best money I ever spent! Now mind you my friend worked for Dyson and had a day where friends and family got 50% off, but I'm just saying, best money I every spent. I actually love it and get mad when people mistreat it and it falls over! And no sorry she doesn't work there anymore, but I may be able to get you a discount on some hangers or ironing boards!
ReplyDelete